So I stopped at a Jack in the Box on the way here, and the girl behind the counter said, “Hiya! Are you having an awesome day?” Not, “How are you doing today?” No. “Are you having an awesome day?” Which is pretty… shitty, because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her, like if I’m not having an “awesome day,” suddenly I’m the negative one.

Usually when people ask how I’m doing, the real answer is I’m doing shitty, but I can’t say I’m doing shitty because I don’t even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say, “I’m doing shitty,” then they say, “Why? What’s wrong?” And I have to be like, “I don’t know, all of it?” So instead, when people ask how I’m doing, I usually say, “I am doing so great.”

But when this girl at the Jack in the Box asked me if I was having an awesome day, I thought, “Well, today I’m actually allowed to feel shitty.” Today I have a good reason, so I said to her, “Well, my mom died,” and she immediately burst into tears. So now I have to comfort her, which is annoying, and meanwhile, there’s a line of people forming behind me who are all giving me these real judgy looks because I made the Jack in the Box girl cry. And she’s bawling, and she’s saying, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” and I’m like, “It’s fine. It’s fine.” I mean, it’s not fine but, you know, it’s… fine. And I would like to order a Double Jack Meal, and I’ve kinda got somewhere to be, so maybe less with the crying and more with the frying, huh? [inhales] And the girl apologizes again and she offers me a free churro with my meal. And as I’m leaving, I think, “I just got a free churro because my mom died.” No one ever tells you that when your mom dies, you get a free churro.

[people murmuring]

[clears throat]

Anyway, I’m sorry, that’s not part of the… [clears throat] All right. Okay, here we go. Let’s do this. Here I am, BoJack Horseman, doing a eulogy, let’s go. Hey, piano man, can I get a, like an organ flourish? [organ plays] Nicely done. You know, I was a little worried I wouldn’t have the right accompaniment today. I guess it’s a good thing my mom was an organ donor! [rimshot plays] What happened to the organ? [horn ‘oogahs’] Okay, why just leave the comedy to the professionals? Okay? This is a funeral, sir, for my mother. Can you show a little respect? [trumpet whines] I’ll take it.

Beatrice Horseman, who was she? What was her deal? Well, she was a horse. Uh, she was born in 1938. She died in 2018. One time, she went to a parade, and one time, she smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale. I watched her do it. Truly a remarkable woman.

[rustling]

Lived a full life, that lady. Just, all the way to the end, which is, uh, now I guess. Really makes you think, though, huh? Life, right? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die. Okay, well that’s my time, you’ve been great! Tip your waitress! No, I’m just kidding around, there’s no waitress. But seriously, that’s all I have to say about my mother. No point beating a dead horse, right? So…

[inhales] Now what? I don’t know. Mom, you got any ideas? Anything? Mom? No? Nothing to contribute? Knock once if you’re proud of me.

Can I just say how amazing it is to be in a room with my mother, and I can just talk and talk without her telling me to shut up and make her a drink? Hey, Mom, knock once if you think I should shut up. No? You sure? I mean, I don’t want to embarrass you by making this eulogy into a me-logy, so, seriously, if you wanted me to sit down and let someone else talk, just knock. I will not be offended. No? Your funeral.

Sorry about the closed casket, by the way. She wanted an open casket, but uh, you know, she’s dead now, so who cares what she wanted? No, that sounds bad. I’m sorry. I-I think that if she could’ve seen what she looked like dead, she’d agree it’s better this way. She looked like this.

[groaning]

[mourners gasping]

Kinda like a pissed-off toy dinosaur. The coroner couldn’t get her eyes closed, so now her face is forever frozen in a mask of tremendous horror and anguish. Or as my mom called it, Tuesday! Tuesday! My mom called it Tuesday.

[woman coughs]

Hey, Mom, what did you think of that joke? You like that? You never did care for my comedy.

[clears throat]

Here’s a story. When I was a teenager, I performed a comedy routine for my high school talent show. There was this, uh, cool jacket that I wanted to wear because I thought it would make me look like Albert Brooks. For months, I saved up for this jacket. But when I finally had enough, I went to the store and it was gone. They had just sold it to someone else. So, I went home and I told my mother, and she said, “Let that be a lesson. That’s the good that comes from wanting things.” She was really good at dispensing life lessons that always seemed to circle back to everything being my fault.

But then, on the day of the talent show, my mother had a surprise for me. She had bought me the jacket. Even though she didn’t know how to say it, I know this meant that she loved me.

Now that’s a good story about my mother. It’s not true, but it’s a good story, right? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when I was a kid, where she talks about her father. I remember when I saw it, thinking, “That’s the kind of story I want to tell about my parents when they die.” But I don’t have any stories like that. All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that’s what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You can’t just screw everything up and then take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend, or solve a mystery, and fly to Kansas. You need to do it every day, which is so… hard.

When you’re a kid, you convince yourself that maybe the grand gesture could be enough, that even though your parents aren’t what you need them to be over and over and over again, at any moment, they might surprise you with something… wonderful. I kept waiting for that, the proof that even though my mother was a hard woman, deep down, she loved me and cared about me and wanted me to know that I made her life a little bit brighter. Even now, I find myself waiting.

Hey, Mom, knock once if you love me and care about me and want me to know I made your life a little bit brighter.

[owl chirping]

My mother did not go gentle into that good night. She went clawing and fighting and thrashing, hence the face.

[groaning]

[mourners gasping]

If you’d seen her, I swear to God the only thing you’d be thinking about right now is that I am nailing this impression.

[woman clears her throat]

[chairs squeak]

I was in the hospital with her those last moments, and they were truly horrifying, full of nonsencial screams and cries, but there was this moment, this one instant of strange calm, where she looked in my direction and said, “I see you.” That’s the last thing she said to me. “I see you.” Not a statement of judgment or disappointment, just acceptance and the simple recognition of another person in a room. “Hello there. You are a person. And I see you.”

Let me tell you, it’s a weird thing to feel at 54 years old, that for the first time in your life your mother sees you. It’s an odd realization that that’s the thing you’ve been missing, the only thing you wanted all along, to be seen. And it doesn’t feel like a relief, to finally be seen. It feels mean, like, “Oh, it turns out that you knew what I wanted, and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me.” I was prepared for more cruelty. I was sure that she would get in one final zinger about how I let her down, and about how I was fat and stupid and too tall to be an effective Lindy-hopper. How I was needy and a burden and an embarrassment—all that I was ready for. I was not ready for “I see you.” Only my mother would be lousy enough to swipe me with a moment of connection on her way out. But maybe I’m giving her too much credit. Maybe it wasn’t about connection. Maybe it was a… maybe it was an “I see you,” like, uh, “I see you.” Like, “You might have the rest of the world fooled, but I know exactly who you are.” That’s more my mom’s speed.

Or maybe she just literally meant “I see you. You are an object that has entered my field of vision.” She was pretty out of it at the end, so maybe it’s dumb to try to attribute it to anything.

[woman sighs]

Back in the 90s, I was in a very famous TV show called Horsin’ Around.

[man coughs]

Please hold your applause. And I remember one time, a fan asked me, “Hey, um, you know that episode where the horse has to give Ethan a pep talk after Ethan finds out his crush only asked him to the dance because her friends were having a dorkiest date contest? In all the shots of the horse, you can see a paper coffee cup on the kitchen counter, but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee cup’s missing. Was that because the show was making a statement about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory and how even two people can experience the same moment in entirely different ways?” And I didn’t have the heart to be, like, “No, man, some crew guy just left their coffee cup in the shot.” So instead, I was, like… “Yeah.”

And maybe this is like that coffee cup. Maybe we’re dumb to try to pin significance onto every little thing. Maybe when someone says, “I see you,” it just means, “I see you.” Then again, it’s possible she wasn’t even talking to me because, if I’m being honest, she wasn’t really looking at me. She was looking just past me. There was nobody else in the room, so I want to think she was talking to me, but, honestly, she was so far gone at that point, who knows what she was seeing? Who were you talking to, Mom? [sighs] Not saying, huh? Staying mum? No rimshot there? God, whatever I’m paying you, it’s too much.

Maybe she saw my dad. My dad died about ten years ago of injuries he sustained during a duel. When your father dies, you ask yourself a lot of questions. Questions like, “Wait, did you say he died in a duel?” and “Who dies in a duel?” The whole thing was so stupid. Dad spent his entire life writing this book, but he couldn’t get any stores to carry it or any newspapers to review it. Finally, I guess this one newspaper thought he was pretty hilarious, because they ran a review and tore him to shreds. So my father, ever the proud Mary, decided he would not stand for this besmirchment of his honor. He claimed the critic didn’t understand what it meant to be a man, so he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn. He wrote the paper this letter, saying anyone who didn’t like his book, he would challenge to a duel, anyone in the world. He’d even pay for airfare to San Francisco and a night in a hotel. Well, eventually this found its way to some kook in Montana, who was as batshit as he was and took him up on the offer. They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed: ten paces, then shoot. But in the middle of the ten paces, Dad turned to ask the guy if he’d actually read the book and what he thought, but, not looking where he was going, tripped over an exposed root and bashed his head on a rock.

[murmur]

I wish I’d known to go to Jack in the Box then. Maybe I could have gotten a free churro. It would’ve been nice to have something to show for being the son of Butterscotch Horseman. My darling mother gave the eulogy. My entire life I never heard her say a kind word to or about my father, but at his funeral she said, “My husband is dead, and everything is worse now.”

“My husband is dead, and everything is worse now.” I don’t know why she said that. Maybe she felt like that’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to say at a funeral. Maybe she hoped one day someone would say that about her. “My mother is dead, and everything is worse now.” Or maybe she knew that he had frittered away all her inheritance, and replaced it with crippling debt, which is a pretty shitty thing to leave your widow with. “Bad news, you lost a husband, but don’t worry, you also lost the house!” Maybe Mom knew she’d have to sell all her fancy jewelry and move into a home. Maybe that’s what she meant by “everything is worse now.” Is that what you meant, Mom?

I gotta say, I’m really carrying this double act. At least with Penn and Teller, the quiet one does card tricks. Hey, piano man, when I say something funny to my mom, how about you give me one of those rimshots?

[rimshot plays]

Yeah, but not now. When I say something funny. Like, okay. What’s the difference between my mother and a disruptive expulsion of germs? One’s a coughin’ fit and the other fits a coffin! That’s an example of a funny thing.

[rimshot plays]

Thank you. Let’s try again. Hey, Mom. What’s the difference between my mother and a bunch of Easter eggs? One gets carried in a basket, the other gets buried in a casket!

[rimshot plays]

Ready for one more? Last one. What’s the difference between a first-year lit major and my mother, Beatrice Horseman? One is decently read, and the other’s a huge bitch!

[woman gasps]

[murmurs]

Yeah, might have gone a little too far with that one. That one might’ve been a little too “my mom’s a huge bitch” for the room. I’m sorry, Mother. You’re not a huge bitch. You were a huge bitch… and now you’re dead.

[woman sighs]

You know, the first time I ever performed in front of an audience, it actually was, uh, with my mom. She used to put on these shows with her supper club in the living room and she used to make… [inhales] She used to make me sing “The Lollipop Song.”

[organ playing tune]

Those parties, they were really something. There were skits and magic acts, and ethnically insensitive vaudeville routines, and the big finale was always a dance my mother did. She had this beautiful dress that she only brought out for these parties, and she did this incredible number. It was so beautiful and sad. Dad hated the parties. He’d lock himself in the study, and bang on the walls for us to keep it down, but he always came out to see Mom dance. He’d linger in the doorway, scotch in hand, and watch in awe, as this cynical, despicable woman he married… took flight. And as a child who was completely terrified of both my parents, I was always aware that this moment of grace, it meant something. We understood each other in a way. Me and my mom and my dad, as screwed up as we all were, we did understand each other. My mother, she knew what it’s like to feel your entire life like you’re drowning, with the exception of these moments, these very rare, brief instances, in which you suddenly remember… you can swim.

[flashback]

[partygoers laughing]

[classical music playing]

But then again, mostly not. Mostly you’re drowning. She understood that, too. And she recognized that I understood it. And Dad. All three of us were drowning, and we didn’t know how to save each other, but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together. And I would like to think that that’s what she meant when we were in the hospital and she said, “I see you.”

You know, the weird thing about both your parents being dead is it means that you’re next. I mean, you know, obviously it’s not like there’s a waitlist for dying. Any one of us could get run over by a Snapchatting teen at any moment. And you would think that knowing that would make us more adventurous, and kind, and forgiving. But it makes us small, and stupid, and petty.

I actually had a near-death experience recently. A stunt went bad and I fell off a building. I’m an actor, I do my own stunts. I’m on this new show Philbert. I’m Philbert. Star of the show. It hasn’t come out yet, but it’s already getting Emmy buzz. Oh, speaking of buzz… [inhales] I’m supposed to take two of these every morning, but my days are so screwed up ‘cause of the shooting schedule, I don’t even know what morning means anymore. There’s a joke in there somewhere, about a guy who’s been to so many funerals, he doesn’t even know what mourning means anymore. Let you guys figure that one out for yourselves. [gulps]

Anyway, you know what I thought, when I was falling off the building and I went into panic mode? The last thing that my stupid brain could come up with before I died? “Won’t they be sorry.” Cool thought, brain.

[rimshot plays]

No, that wasn’t… would you just… dial it back, all right?

I don’t even know what “they” I wanted to be sorry. My mom, even before she died, could barely remember who I was. And of course, my dad’s dead. The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel. He was so certain this book was his legacy. Maybe he thought it would vindicate him for all the shitty things he ever did in his stupid worthless life. Maybe it did, I don’t know. I never read it, because why would I give him that?

I used to be on this TV show called Horsin’ Around. Seriously, though, hold your applause.

[man coughs]

Well held. It was written by my friend Herb Kazzaz, who’s also dead now, and it starred this little girl named Sarah Lynn. And it was about these orphans. And early on, the network had a note, “Maybe don’t mention they’re orphans so much, because audiences tend to find orphans sad and not relatable.” But I never thought that the orphans were sad. I-I always thought they were lucky, because they could imagine their parents to be anything they wanted. They had something to long for.

Anyway, we did this one season finale, where Olivia’s birth mother comes to town. And she was a junkie, but she’s gotten herself cleaned up, and she wants to be in Olivia’s life again. And of course, she’s like a perfect grown-up version of Olivia, and they go to the mall together and get her ears pierced like she’s always wanted and—sorry, spoiler alert for the season six finale of Horsin’ Around, if you’re still working your way through it. Anyway, the horse tries to warn her, “Be careful, moms have a way of letting you down.” But Olivia just thinks the horse is jealous, and when the mom says she’s moving to California, Olivia decides to go with her. And the network really juiced the cliffhanger: “Is Olivia gone for good?” But of course, because it’s a TV show, she was not gone for good. Of course, because it’s a TV show, Olivia’s mother had a relapse and had to go back to rehab, so Olivia had to hitchhike all the way home, getting rides from Mr. T, Alf, and the cast of Stomp. Of course, that’s what happened. Because, what are you gonna do, just not have Olivia on the show? You can’t have happy endings in sitcoms, not really, because, if everyone’s happy, the show would be over, and above all else, the show… has to keep going. There’s always more show. And you can call Horsin’ Around dumb, or bad, or unrealistic, but there is nothing more realistic than that. You never get a happy ending, ‘cause there’s always more show.

I guess until there isn’t.

[chuckles]

My mom would hate it if she knew that I spent so much time at her funeral talking about my old TV show. Or maybe she’d think it was funny that her idiot son couldn’t even do this right. Who knows? She left no instructions for what she wanted me to say. All I know is she wanted an open casket, and her idiot son couldn’t even do that right. I’m not gonna stand up here and pretend I ever understood how to please that woman, even though so much of my life has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out. But I keep going back to that moment in the ICU when she looked at me, and… “I-C-U.”

“I… see… you.” Jesus Christ, we were in the intensive care unit. She was just reading a sign. My mom died and all I got was this free churro.

You know the shittiest thing about all of this? Is when that stranger behind the counter gave me that free churro, that small act of kindness showed more compassion than my mother gave me her entire goddamn life. Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person? This woman at the Jack in the Box didn’t even know me. I’m your son! All I had was you! [inhales]

I have this friend. And right around when I first met her, her dad died, and I actually went with her to the funeral. And months later, she told me that she didn’t understand why she was still upset, because she never even liked her father. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when my dad died. And I’m going through the same thing now. You know what it’s like? It’s like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show, hoping that it would get better, and it never did. It had all the right pieces, but it just—it couldn’t put them together. And when it got canceled, I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better, and now it never would be. And that’s what losing a parent is like. It’s like Becker.

Suddenly, you realize you’ll never have the good relationship you wanted, and as long as they were alive, even though you’d never admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding on to that chance. And you didn’t even realize it until that chance went away.

My mother is dead, and everything is worse now, because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across a room and says, “BoJack Horseman, I see you.” But I guess it’s good to know. It’s good to know that there is nobody looking out for me, that there never was, and there never will be. No, it’s good to know that I am the only one that I can depend on. And I know that now and it’s good. It’s good that I know that. So… it’s good my mother is dead.

[gulps, sighs]

Well. No point beating a dead horse. Beatrice Horseman was born in 1938, and she died in 2018, and I have no idea… what she wanted. Unless she just wanted what we all want… to be seen.

Is this Funeral Parlor B?

—— from Reddit

以下劇情概述系一路劇透到底，閱覽請(qǐng)慎重?？赐耆珓∮肿鐾旮攀?，才發(fā)現(xiàn)本劇主創(chuàng)在故事中安排的合理因素和草蛇灰線是多么的驚人，這也恰恰是國(guó)產(chǎn)劇最不足的地方

個(gè)人心目中最精彩的幾集標(biāo)題已加粗

S05E01 The light Bulb Scene

波杰克的新連續(xù)劇“Philbert”開拍了，但是他總是對(duì)于劇情本身的走向有很多疑問(wèn)，現(xiàn)場(chǎng)的設(shè)計(jì)也跟他家很像，所以一直騷擾導(dǎo)演Flip。作為一貫的BoJack，他在片場(chǎng)跟他對(duì)戲的女主角Gina搞在了一處，與此同時(shí)他對(duì)于本劇物化女性的投訴讓導(dǎo)演頭疼萬(wàn)分，導(dǎo)演決定與其讓他拍攝去Club給脫衣女郎畫素描，不如像泰坦尼克號(hào)里一樣讓他給女主角畫素描，而這一點(diǎn)也讓女主角非常不爽。于是BoJack繼續(xù)與導(dǎo)演抗?fàn)帲瑢?dǎo)演惱羞成怒，做了一段一段‘你只是在尋求別人對(duì)你的關(guān)注’的評(píng)述后，決定讓BoJack拍一段360度裸體擰燈泡，這樣就不是物化女性而是物化男性了

卡洛琳公主終于下定決心準(zhǔn)備領(lǐng)養(yǎng)，她去領(lǐng)養(yǎng)經(jīng)理人處登記了自己的信息

陶德跟無(wú)性戀現(xiàn)女友尤蘭達(dá)、前女友以及前女友的現(xiàn)男友消防員一起double date。陶德發(fā)現(xiàn)自己與現(xiàn)女友除了性特征一樣以外都不一樣，現(xiàn)女友嫌他沒工作沒面子，于是陶德出門找工作應(yīng)聘清潔工，順利成為該公司廣告業(yè)務(wù)總監(jiān)（可以這很陶德）

S05E02 The Dog Day are Over

戴安在離婚后跟花生醬先生一起去餐廳吃飯，花生醬在餐廳搭訕了新女友酸黃瓜。戴安去BoJack家聊天卻無(wú)法解除自己的難過(guò)（在這個(gè)過(guò)程中她聽到BoJack講到了關(guān)于新墨西哥的故事，但只是開了個(gè)頭）于是去換了發(fā)型衣著。當(dāng)戴安去參加花生醬先生的派對(duì)，看到他親別的女人于是情感崩潰，逃到了越南，并寫了一篇‘10個(gè)去越南理由----最拽女生游記’的文章。在越南她遇見了一個(gè)美國(guó)小鷹（伙），假裝語(yǔ)言不通兩人發(fā)展出一段如同‘西貢小姐’的愛情故事，卻在對(duì)方識(shí)破她會(huì)說(shuō)英語(yǔ)后破裂。她最終還是回到了美國(guó)，和花生醬先生走完了協(xié)議離婚的簽字流程

S05E03 Planned Obsolescence

陶德跟無(wú)性戀女友尤蘭達(dá)去見父母，卻要一起偽裝成有性戀，因?yàn)橛忍m達(dá)一家都非常的性活躍。兩人花了不少力氣偽裝，最后尤蘭達(dá)終于在情勢(shì)之下在家人面前坦誠(chéng)自己是無(wú)性戀，家人接受了但陶德卻提出了分手

花生醬先生的新女友酸黃瓜接到建議，決定和花生醬先生take it slow慢慢來(lái)，卻在去野外觀測(cè)空間站銷毀的路上彼此逐漸打開心扉

吉娜和BoJack搬到了一起，卻不保持情感關(guān)系。她從小想要演唱音樂(lè)劇的理想被BoJack發(fā)現(xiàn)，BoJack為她安排了面試但結(jié)果不好，吉娜最終放棄了自己的這個(gè)理想。

S05E04 BoJack the Feminist

卡洛琳公主要問(wèn)BoJack的新劇找一個(gè)男配角，找來(lái)了充滿暴力史和道歉史的Vice。媒體卻無(wú)風(fēng)起浪，傳播BoJack和新來(lái)的Vice不合，為了澄清，BoJack上了早餐秀，但是他的發(fā)言卻被進(jìn)一步曲解成女權(quán)主義和對(duì)Vice的抨擊，這一點(diǎn)也讓Vice和劇組徹底決裂，Vice同時(shí)宣傳連續(xù)劇的劇情充滿了物化女性。為解決這個(gè)問(wèn)題，卡洛琳公主邀請(qǐng)了戴安來(lái)包裝BoJack并加入劇組成為編劇，又邀請(qǐng)花生醬先生出演本劇的男配角

花生醬先生想打造更加強(qiáng)硬的個(gè)人性格特征，每一次的強(qiáng)硬卻被當(dāng)成是善良而非強(qiáng)硬的舉動(dòng)，這讓他和來(lái)幫忙的陶德苦惱萬(wàn)分

S05E05 The Amelia Earhart Story

卡洛琳公主從小崇拜Amelia Earhart，第一個(gè)女性飛行員（她在之后每年的萬(wàn)圣節(jié)派對(duì)上都裝扮成Amelia Earhart，真是骨灰粉）。她回到北卡老家去見自己準(zhǔn)備領(lǐng)養(yǎng)的孩子的母親，這個(gè)過(guò)程中她不斷想起自己小時(shí)候的故事。她和這個(gè)年輕單身母親一樣，不慎懷孕。不同的是對(duì)方的家庭準(zhǔn)備接受她和孩子（如果大家還記得的話，一如BoJack的父母的故事，只是男女角色互換），但是突如其來(lái)的流產(chǎn)讓她剛剛說(shuō)服自己接受的計(jì)劃也無(wú)法繼續(xù)，最終她決定追求自己的夢(mèng)想去了UCLA，但是離開母親是她心中永遠(yuǎn)的傷痛

波杰克拍特技不慎從房頂?shù)渌吮?，醫(yī)生給他開了很多止疼片

S05E06 Free Churro

波杰克在自己母親的葬禮上致辭

（這一集太過(guò)神，輕易的解構(gòu)是對(duì)本季最大的不敬，大家還是自己看吧。片頭到片尾就是波杰克的獨(dú)白，至于為什么叫這個(gè)題目，致辭里有）

S05E07 INT.SUB

本集的故事講述方式很有趣，是戴安的心理醫(yī)生和陶德公司的調(diào)解專員約會(huì)，兩個(gè)人互相講述自己工作中遇到的故事。兩條線互相穿插還有交集

BoJack母親去世，卻不斷封閉自己，讓戴安很苦惱，所以戴安在心理醫(yī)生的建議下決定與BoJack保持距離?；ㄉu先生同樣發(fā)現(xiàn)了自己父母去世卻愿意打開自己與他人交流，對(duì)比之下讓BoJack更加不爽。BoJack去找戴安的心理醫(yī)生理論卻建立了聯(lián)系，戴安發(fā)現(xiàn)后告訴BoJack自己希望獨(dú)占這個(gè)心理醫(yī)生（以獲得心理上的滿足），BoJack卻繼續(xù)私下見心理醫(yī)生并把醫(yī)生當(dāng)成朋友。但戴安生氣的決定不再見這個(gè)醫(yī)生后，BoJack卻也逃離了這個(gè)醫(yī)生，他只是需要戴安的注意

卡洛琳公主和陶德對(duì)于誰(shuí)吃了冰箱里最后一根奶酪條起了爭(zhēng)執(zhí)……

連續(xù)劇的導(dǎo)演Flip寫作上遇到了困難，戴安挺身而出幫助他寫了新的劇情發(fā)展，卻將BoJack飾演的Philbert這個(gè)角色寫的無(wú)比像BoJack本人（考慮到戴安是BoJack的自傳撰稿人，這個(gè)說(shuō)法真是無(wú)比的合理）

S05E08 Mr Peanutbutter`s Boos

本集一樣很神，其精彩程度超出了我語(yǔ)言的描述能力。主要講述了花生醬先生先后帶三位前妻和一位現(xiàn)任女友去BoJack家開萬(wàn)圣節(jié)排隊(duì)的故事。四條時(shí)間線用相同的進(jìn)度推進(jìn)，彰顯了花生醬先生不斷地犯著同一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，而戴安是那個(gè)清醒的把問(wèn)題指出的人

故事同樣講述了陶德如何來(lái)到BoJack家開始沙發(fā)客的生活，直指S01E01。故事也蜻蜓點(diǎn)水的展示了卡洛琳公主和BoJack在好萊塢這25年的變化

S05E09 Ancient History

BoJack的妹妹Holly在大學(xué)假期決定來(lái)LA看BoJack，卻陷入了對(duì)上一季BoJack母親給她下藥的環(huán)境恐懼中，銷毀了BoJack所有治療背痛的止痛藥。于是BoJack帶著妹妹在深夜的LA四處歷險(xiǎn)找地方買止痛藥卻沒能買到。Holly質(zhì)疑BoJack是真的需要藥物還是對(duì)止痛藥上癮，BoJack為了繼續(xù)獲得止痛藥主動(dòng)創(chuàng)造了車禍

陶德的前女友回來(lái)向他訴苦，現(xiàn)男友跟她之間只有性關(guān)系沒有情感交流。陶德為了贏回前女友，制造了一個(gè)性愛機(jī)器人，希望以此贏回前女友的心

卡洛琳公主找前男友拉爾夫談生意，緊急接到領(lǐng)養(yǎng)中心的電話去醫(yī)院見一個(gè)孕婦，拉爾夫提出兩人復(fù)合卻慘遭拒絕。最后領(lǐng)養(yǎng)沒能成功，卡洛琳公主一個(gè)人孤獨(dú)的回家

S05E10 Head in the Clouds

眾人的新劇philbert獲得巨大成功，將要舉行首映禮。首映禮上酸黃瓜并不喜歡本劇，先行離開。BoJack在首映禮后與戴安陷入爭(zhēng)吵，認(rèn)為自己才是自己所有行為的最終受害人，戴安憤怒的提出死去的薩拉琳，BoJack惱羞成怒，表示自己這樣喪下去挺好，戴安卻說(shuō)自己對(duì)他仍抱有希望。BoJack最后解釋了新墨西哥事件，戴安卻對(duì)BoJack身上的黑暗異常失望，選擇離開。花生醬先生送戴安回家并留宿

陶德帶著性愛機(jī)器人去上班，機(jī)器人卻意外成為了他們公司的CEO

S05E11The Showstopper

Philbert大獲成功后眾人連忙開始拍攝第二季，BoJack卻由于角色與自己過(guò)于相像，加上自己身上的爛攤子過(guò)大和持續(xù)增長(zhǎng)的對(duì)止痛藥的上癮，開始無(wú)法分清劇情和現(xiàn)實(shí)，壓力之下不斷的失眠并加大了藥物攝入的劑量。隨著拍攝中Philbert的破案，他也認(rèn)為現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中所有人都要對(duì)他不利，要把連續(xù)劇中的角色和他混為一談并將他毀掉，而他唯一應(yīng)該做的就是保護(hù)Gina（唉，這是BoJack第一次這樣為他人著想，雖然后來(lái)……）Gina在同居生活中發(fā)現(xiàn)了BoJack藥物成癮，想要扔掉藥物卻遭到BoJack的暴力對(duì)待。隨著Philbert的故事揭曉，殺人犯正是Philbert自己，出演Philbert的BoJack沉浸于角色中，在拍攝時(shí)險(xiǎn)些掐死Gina

S05E12 The Stopped Show

花生醬先生和戴安坦白自己還喜歡她，并決定跟酸黃瓜分手。在分手現(xiàn)場(chǎng)卻無(wú)法承受傳遞壞消息的壓力，最終向酸黃瓜求婚

陶德的性愛機(jī)器人CEO被下屬舉報(bào)性騷擾，公司受創(chuàng)被迫大舉裁員，性愛機(jī)器人和陶德也都被開除，陶德最終毀掉了機(jī)器人并脫下西裝回到了自己

由于BoJack險(xiǎn)些掐死Gina，現(xiàn)場(chǎng)被工作人員拍成視頻傳到網(wǎng)上，劇組被迫公關(guān)。BoJack藥物服用過(guò)度，已經(jīng)不記得自己做了什么，看完視頻后悔萬(wàn)分，希望找Gina原諒卻遭拒絕。兩人順利完成的公關(guān)采訪解除了劇組的危機(jī)，卻彼此勞燕分飛。BoJack希望懺悔，找到戴安希望曝光自己，戴安告知如果他希望改變，最好的辦法就是去戒毒中心待上6周。兩人在戒毒中心門口揮手道別

以上劇情簡(jiǎn)述均系我自行概括，如有遺漏敬請(qǐng)諒解，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)獲得授權(quán)

1 凝視理論和性別平權(quán)

在第一集中，吉娜批評(píng)菲爾伯特中的女性裸體戲和薩茜無(wú)腦人設(shè)為“男性凝視”（male-gazing），于是馬男用學(xué)會(huì)的新詞，用來(lái)跟編劇叫板，卻適得其反，也被拍了裸戲。

此處字幕將male gaze(y) 譯成“物化女性”

let's give women something to gaze

那么，什么是男性凝視？

男性凝視的概念最初是由女權(quán)主義電影評(píng)論家勞拉·馬爾維（Laura Mulvey）在文章“視覺快樂(lè)和敘事電影”（1975）中提出的，其中她提出性別之間的權(quán)力不對(duì)稱是電影中的控制力量;男性凝視是為了男性觀眾的快樂(lè)而構(gòu)建的，這種觀點(diǎn)深深植根于父權(quán)制的意識(shí)形態(tài)和話語(yǔ)中。

在相機(jī)將觀察者置于異性戀男人的視角中時(shí)，他的視線徘徊在女人身體的曲線上，女性成為為電影故事中角色或電影的男性觀眾的色情對(duì)象。通過(guò)在男性凝視中，男性成為電影幻想中的主導(dǎo)力量，其中女性是男性觀眾主動(dòng)凝視的被動(dòng)對(duì)象。男性凝視優(yōu)先于女性凝視反映了兩性之間社會(huì)和政治權(quán)力的潛在不對(duì)稱。”

而與男性凝視對(duì)立的是女性凝視。在此類電影中女性成為一個(gè)敘事故事講述者，而不是一個(gè)對(duì)象。這些電影旨在代表女性主角的欲望，因此，代表女性電影觀眾的欲望。

但是女性凝視是不正常的，只要想象把文藝復(fù)興時(shí)期繪畫里面的繪畫中女性換成男性就能明白。

自行腦補(bǔ)三秒……

然而這個(gè)正常的正是男性凝視不正常之處：無(wú)論是男性個(gè)體還是由這些個(gè)體創(chuàng)造的機(jī)構(gòu)，都有能力決定什么是“自然的”。 隨著時(shí)間的推移，這些構(gòu)建的信念開始顯得“自然”或“正?！保?yàn)樗鼈兪橇餍械牟⑶覜]有受到挑戰(zhàn)。

那么，當(dāng)波杰克拍裸戲時(shí)，就是對(duì)性別的“正?！币环N挑戰(zhàn)與抗?fàn)帯?/p>

果真如此嗎？

戴安不這么想。即使影視作品將女性作為欲望主體，究竟能改變什么？為什么必須是女性來(lái)對(duì)抗這一切？抗?fàn)幨欠褚环N精力的浪費(fèi)？

女性凝視的電影給了女性自己是主體的幻像，而當(dāng)幕布落下，她依然必須面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)世界中的種種不公。

（戴安新發(fā)型好評(píng)）

波杰克并不理解女權(quán)，但是在第四集中，他卻成了人人喜愛的女權(quán)主義者。讓戴安不能理解的是，當(dāng)她為女權(quán)發(fā)聲時(shí)，沒有人會(huì)聽，而當(dāng)馬男說(shuō)出同樣的話，所有人都稱贊他的勇敢。當(dāng)名人說(shuō)自己不反對(duì)女權(quán)主義時(shí)，又多少是出于政治正確，而不是真正的共情和理解？

這種雙重標(biāo)準(zhǔn)讓我不禁聯(lián)想到國(guó)內(nèi)對(duì)“田園女權(quán)”的指責(zé)：不知多少男性指責(zé)者真的就比所謂田園女權(quán)了解更多女權(quán)理論呢？

“誰(shuí)在乎你怎么想，我說(shuō)我是女權(quán)主義者那我TM就是！”

性別平權(quán)運(yùn)動(dòng)本質(zhì)上是極其復(fù)雜的。

性侵或家暴受害者即使發(fā)聲，也未必就能解決問(wèn)題。比如，吉娜就是這樣。

當(dāng)馬男發(fā)現(xiàn)自己對(duì)吉娜施暴后，他本來(lái)想坦白一切，說(shuō)出自己做了什么，但是吉娜阻止了他?！叭藗兘K于通過(guò)我的表演認(rèn)識(shí)了我，我不想成為那個(gè)被波杰克掐過(guò)脖子的女孩。我不想讓你成為發(fā)生在我身上的最廣為人知的事情。我不想讓你成為人們?cè)诓稍L我時(shí)所有問(wèn)題的焦點(diǎn)。我想讓這事快快結(jié)束?！?/p>

她恨極了波杰克，但是她不想在公眾眼中永遠(yuǎn)做一個(gè)受害者，而非一個(gè)演員，一個(gè)獨(dú)立的人。于是她選擇了沉默。

編劇曾被問(wèn)及：很多在溫斯坦之后發(fā)聲的人并不一定那么有名，現(xiàn)在所有人關(guān)注的就是她們的被虐待經(jīng)歷，吉娜這個(gè)角色是否與這類事情有關(guān)？

他的回答是：

這非?？膳?。我厭惡那些人，他們以為這些女性講述關(guān)于虐待的故事是為了能夠成名。沒有一個(gè)例子可以證明那是可行的。我不認(rèn)為這就是為什么有人會(huì)這樣做的原因。事實(shí)上，完全相反，這是她們不這樣做的原因。我明白為什么一個(gè)女人會(huì)想要對(duì)她的故事保持沉默，這是非常悲傷的?！?/blockquote>

的確是悲傷的。她們生活在要么隱忍著痛苦，要么職業(yè)受挫還被人誤解污蔑的困境中。

而從性侵者的角度來(lái)看，問(wèn)題變得更加復(fù)雜。

作為一個(gè)馬男波杰克的萬(wàn)年粉，我是喜歡他的，雖然他做過(guò)讓人討厭的事情，但是他畢竟是一匹喪得可愛的馬。

這并不能掩蓋他是一個(gè)施暴者的事實(shí)。

在第五季中，戴安對(duì)費(fèi)爾伯特的批評(píng)也是我一直以來(lái)對(duì)馬男波杰克這部劇的疑問(wèn)：難道施暴者的內(nèi)心痛苦就能減輕他的罪行嗎？用這一點(diǎn)為自己的糟糕行為辯護(hù)是否正當(dāng)呢？他們應(yīng)該成為我們同情的對(duì)象嗎（比如殺人的滴滴司機(jī)）？

戴安的回答是：看看受害者。看看薩拉琳，看看那個(gè)杭州女孩，她們已經(jīng)死了。

這句話是殘忍的，無(wú)論是對(duì)戴安還是觀眾。但是這是看馬男時(shí)不能忘記的一點(diǎn)。

相比之下，陶德的支線故事就輕松愉快多了。但是他作為無(wú)性戀人群的故事，也提出了很嚴(yán)肅的問(wèn)題：社會(huì)傾向于把少數(shù)群體無(wú)差別地帶著刻板印象去看待，忽略了TA們也是立體的有個(gè)性的人。

陶德和尤蘭達(dá)雖然同樣是無(wú)性戀者，卻除此之外并無(wú)任何共同點(diǎn)：一個(gè)充滿不切實(shí)際的夢(mèng)想，一個(gè)理性而實(shí)際，最后兩人和平分手。

陶德提出分手

這就引出了交互性（intersectionality）的問(wèn)題。

社會(huì)的壓力來(lái)自各個(gè)方面，每一個(gè)邊緣人的處境也不盡相同，所以，我們應(yīng)該綜合地考慮這些因素，畢竟少數(shù)群體也是普通人。

---

說(shuō)句題外話，我也認(rèn)識(shí)一位無(wú)性戀者。

我們?cè)谝粋€(gè)紐約州的小鎮(zhèn)散步，偶然看到一戶門上掛著彩虹旗的人家。她說(shuō)：“看，gay flag！” 我隨口說(shuō)：“也說(shuō)不定是女同呢?！?/p>

于是她問(wèn)我：“這個(gè)問(wèn)題可能有些私人，但是你是直女嗎？”

“應(yīng)該是吧，不過(guò)我還在questioning……” 我很驚訝，一是發(fā)現(xiàn)自己從來(lái)沒仔細(xì)想過(guò)這個(gè)問(wèn)題，二是好奇她為什么會(huì)問(wèn)這個(gè)問(wèn)題。（不過(guò)兩年后的今天，如果有人問(wèn)我這個(gè)問(wèn)題，我可以很肯定地說(shuō)我不是。）

“唔，我是無(wú)性戀。我從來(lái)沒有對(duì)任何人產(chǎn)生過(guò)性欲。” 她平靜地說(shuō)。

我們從此之后不再那么頻繁地見面了，盡管我非常喜歡她：她是我見過(guò)最喜歡貓和狗的人，管狗叫pupper，她還喜歡玩電子游戲和畫畫。她母親是杭州人，父親是德國(guó)人。她很可愛。

想到這些，我總是覺得很可惜：如果我放下那點(diǎn)可悲的矜持，如果我能更了解全部的她，那該多好。

2 美國(guó)的鴉片類藥物危機(jī)（opioid cricis）

注意床頭柜上的藥瓶

波杰克此次的藥物成癮與此前純粹的娛樂(lè)不同。第五集中PC在老家無(wú)法照顧片場(chǎng)，導(dǎo)致波杰克發(fā)生了事故，從樓頂摔下，摔傷背部。從在醫(yī)院接受治療時(shí)起，他才開始服用一種棕色小瓶里的止痛片。

疑似波杰克服用的止痛片oxycodone

如果不是參加過(guò)一次關(guān)于止痛片濫用的辯論并做過(guò)這方面的研究（當(dāng)時(shí)的辯題是：是否應(yīng)該像對(duì)待毒販一樣嚴(yán)罰開過(guò)量阿片類藥物處方的醫(yī)生），如果不是在夏校時(shí)宿舍樓里有人吸毒昏迷被送去醫(yī)院，我也不會(huì)注意到這個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)。

在我們指責(zé)波杰克的種種不堪時(shí)，也不要忽略了這個(gè)（在美國(guó)）由來(lái)已久的嚴(yán)重社會(huì)問(wèn)題：鴉片類藥物泛濫（opioid epidemic）。

合成類鴉片類藥物如芬太尼（fentanyl）和羥二氫可待因酮（oxycodone）屬于針對(duì)慢性疼痛的合法藥物，比如波杰克的背痛。這些藥的成癮率相當(dāng)于海洛因，高于嗎啡，但是卻被廣泛地通過(guò)正規(guī)渠道販賣給病人。

“正規(guī)藥物”

早在1996年，制藥公司Purdue Pharma聲稱OxyContin雖然比其他止痛藥強(qiáng)大得多，但由于其緩釋化學(xué)配方而不那么容易上癮。許多醫(yī)生相信了OxyContin神話并受到制藥公司提供的津貼的鼓舞（這些制藥公司在2000年花費(fèi)了令人難以置信的40.4億美元的直接營(yíng)銷。）

在服用這些藥物的人群中，百分之二十七誤用藥物，百分之八到十二產(chǎn)生了神經(jīng)紊亂。藥物濫用的癥狀包括：將阿片類藥物與酒精或某些其他藥物相結(jié)合，每日服用高劑量的阿片類藥物，服用非法的阿片類藥物，如海洛因或非法制造的芬太尼。這些癥狀波杰克都有了。

合理用量大約在三小時(shí)一粒，波杰克是整瓶往嘴里倒……

受害的不只波杰克一人。

根據(jù)美國(guó)疾病控制中心的數(shù)據(jù)，去年美國(guó)毒品過(guò)量導(dǎo)致超過(guò)72,000人死亡 - 這是由致命的阿片類藥物流行引起的新記錄。 疾病預(yù)防控制中心估計(jì)，2017年有72,287人因過(guò)量服用而死亡，比前一年增加了約10％。

根據(jù)新數(shù)據(jù)，大部分死亡人數(shù) - 近49,000人 - 是由阿片類藥物引起的。 最大的驅(qū)動(dòng)因素是合成阿片類芬太尼，它殺死了超過(guò)29,000人，其次是海洛因和其他毒品。 越來(lái)越多的過(guò)量藥物使得這種藥物大流行比槍支暴力，汽車碰撞或艾滋病更致命，這些暴力事件在一年內(nèi)從未殺死過(guò)多少人。2017年，每天有近200人因過(guò)量服用而死亡。

波杰克已經(jīng)在嘗試著戒酒，他卻深陷于這些藥丸中，如果沒有那個(gè)事故，他本可以開始新的生活。

——真的嗎？

自然，有他自己的問(wèn)題。

他需要麻醉自己，這樣內(nèi)心才能稍微好受一些，但是無(wú)論是靠酒精，海洛因還是止痛片，他永遠(yuǎn)逃不脫的唯有自己。

"It's you."

他唯一能改變的，只有承認(rèn)自己需要幫助。于是在全劇結(jié)尾，他去戒毒所尋求幫助。他終于做到了這件幾十年都沒有完成的事。雖然他自己也擔(dān)心也許一切依然不會(huì)好起來(lái)，但是這小小的努力意味著他至少有可能恢復(fù)。

因?yàn)槿绻荒芨淖冏约海辽僖惨泵?。這是改變的第一步。

這一點(diǎn)適用于所有的癮君子。

3 荒誕/符號(hào)學(xué)

想必大多數(shù)觀眾都對(duì)第六集中波杰的獨(dú)白佩服得五體投地。

當(dāng)馬男平靜地講述自己在漢堡店的日常經(jīng)歷時(shí)，沒人能猜到他此時(shí)是在母親的葬禮上致悼詞。他這種平靜，不禁讓人馬上想起《局外人》的開頭：“母親死了，也許是昨天，我不知道。”

同樣與加繆的《局外人》暗合的，還有這一集中數(shù)不清的讓人心碎的荒誕：

母親死了，波杰克的生活卻一如既往，唯一不同的是他有理由對(duì)陌生人的客套說(shuō)出自己的真實(shí)感受，還有漢堡店送的一份免費(fèi)油條。

更諷刺的是，棺材里甚至都不是碧翠絲真正的身體，波杰克走錯(cuò)了葬禮廳。

一切都如夢(mèng)一般荒謬，連葬禮是一場(chǎng)鬧劇。而在馬男充滿鬧劇的生命終點(diǎn)，又有誰(shuí)會(huì)緬懷真正的他呢？死者已逝，生者也終有一死。母親的死提醒了波杰克：人都是要死的，你是下一個(gè)。死亡就是生命無(wú)意義的最好的證明。

馬男在講臺(tái)上對(duì)棺材說(shuō)話：“媽媽，你有什么想說(shuō)的嗎？如果你為我驕傲，請(qǐng)敲一下棺材板?！彼?xí)慣了母親的喋喋不休，仍然等待著回答——即使現(xiàn)在，他還在等待，等待著遲來(lái)的哪怕一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)母愛。意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)，他憤怒對(duì)母親喊道：我是你兒子啊，我只有你了！

然而所有這些痛苦與期待隨著媽媽的死戛然而止，一切都突如其來(lái)，毫無(wú)道理。

這一刻的寂靜是可怕的。

如加繆所說(shuō)：

世界逃脫了我們，再次顯現(xiàn)出自己的本色。那些慣于蒙面的背景又恢復(fù)了本來(lái)面目，遠(yuǎn)離我們而去。”

面對(duì)像我們所有人一樣，馬男想給每件微小的細(xì)節(jié)賦予意義。他的悼詞圍繞對(duì)母親遺言的闡釋展開：“有那么一刻，當(dāng)一切突然陷入詭異的平靜，她望向我說(shuō)：我看見你了(I see you)。沒有批評(píng)，沒有失望，只有接受?！?/p>

這話既可能是對(duì)波杰克的認(rèn)可，也可能是對(duì)空中馬男父親幻影所說(shuō)的，更有可能的，是她在讀重癥監(jiān)護(hù)室里ICU三個(gè)字母。

但最絕望的是，她已經(jīng)死了，沒有人會(huì)知道她到底說(shuō)的是什么。

索緒爾的符號(hào)學(xué)提出，語(yǔ)言與由所指和能指組成。聲音是能指（signifier），而其代表的事物則是所指（signified）。詞語(yǔ)可以映射物體，就像當(dāng)你說(shuō)到蘋果這個(gè)詞語(yǔ)，我們自然就能想到蘋果這一事物，因此一切都存在普遍的映射關(guān)系。

索緒爾理論

伊麗莎白一世在臨終之時(shí)摸了摸自己的頭，她這是在表達(dá)什么意思呢？她希望傳達(dá)什么樣的信息呢？這到底意味著她在指定詹姆斯一世作為自己的繼承人，還是說(shuō)這僅僅只是代表她死前正在頭疼？

在這里，伊麗莎白一世的手勢(shì)，就成為了一個(gè)典型的空洞的能指。它意味著某種東西，它生成了某種意義，我們認(rèn)為，它應(yīng)該在對(duì)應(yīng)一個(gè)所指，它一定是有其內(nèi)在的深刻含義的。但是，伊麗莎白已經(jīng)死了，我們要怎么詢問(wèn)她呢？這個(gè)能指的意義又到底是什么呢？

意義，總是要經(jīng)由能指鏈條的運(yùn)動(dòng)而得到的，或者簡(jiǎn)單來(lái)說(shuō)，我們對(duì)意義的感覺，總是通過(guò)“解釋”而生產(chǎn)的，因此當(dāng)你提到一個(gè)能指，它其實(shí)并不會(huì)真正對(duì)應(yīng)所指，它只會(huì)讓你解釋它自己，這個(gè)過(guò)程中你不斷召喚出更多的能指，并形成了一個(gè)動(dòng)態(tài)的能指鏈條。是能指鏈條帶給我們意義的感受。

不過(guò)，能指鏈條也會(huì)存在扭曲和斷裂的時(shí)候，比如那個(gè)死掉的伊麗莎白，在我們看來(lái)，死亡導(dǎo)致了她一生能指鏈條的斷裂，讓我們不能了解到她摸頭的動(dòng)作究竟在表達(dá)什么意思……每個(gè)人的死亡都是一個(gè)能指鏈條的斷裂。”

碧翠絲的遺言也像伊麗莎白的手勢(shì)一般，是這樣一個(gè)所指鏈斷裂。她的存在產(chǎn)生了缺口，她不再能解釋自己的話，于是沒有人能知道她在生命的結(jié)束時(shí)的所思所想。她是真的在讀ICU的牌子嗎？

在這個(gè)荒涼的世界上，人與人之間唯一的聯(lián)系——語(yǔ)言，本質(zhì)上也如此脆弱，如此不可靠，如此不堪一擊。

從這個(gè)意義上講，人注定孤獨(dú)。

即使母親沒有死，馬男也是無(wú)依無(wú)靠的。

費(fèi)爾伯特編劇的辦公室（E4），注意上圖中紅圈中的英文“尼采”和左側(cè)白板上對(duì)尼采的引用：“你若長(zhǎng)久地看著深淵，深淵也會(huì)凝視你?！币约跋旅娴膼焊悖骸澳闳舫蒙顪Y心不在焉時(shí)足夠快地瞟一眼，你就能將其盡收眼底?！?/div>

Credit:

1《談?wù)勁畽?quán)和自由等問(wèn)題》，來(lái)自公眾號(hào)“后現(xiàn)代主義哲學(xué)”，作者阿月

2 維基詞條”male gaze”(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_gaze#cite_ref-mulvey1975_8-0)

3 編劇訪談http://variety.com/2018/tv/news/bojack-horseman-season-5-interview-metoo-netflix-1202941206/3

4 衛(wèi)報(bào)關(guān)于opioid crisis 的報(bào)道：

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/aug/19/dopesick-dealers-doctors-drug-company-addicted-america-by-beth-macy-review

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/aug/16/us-drug-overdose-deaths-opioids-fentanyl-cdc

5 美國(guó)毒品監(jiān)管中心官網(wǎng)：http://www.drugabuse.gov/drugs-abuse/opioids/opioid-overdose-crisis

6 加繆《局外人》《西西弗神話》

 4 ) 最難過(guò)的是沒法說(shuō)我愛你

看來(lái)前五集本來(lái)覺得這一季有點(diǎn)走低，還在想bojack怎么變得不憤世嫉俗了。第六集看得我淚流滿面，這還是我熟悉的那個(gè)神?。∶看芜@部劇里有關(guān)原生家庭的描寫都能引起我很大觸動(dòng)，可能我跟bojack一樣，都是在原生家庭中被傷害過(guò)的小孩。

第六集整一集都是馬男在母親葬禮上的eulogy。馬男的媽媽是個(gè)刻薄冷漠又神經(jīng)質(zhì)的人，對(duì)小bojack從來(lái)的都是打擊嘲諷，所以長(zhǎng)大后的他才這么憤世嫉俗，沒有責(zé)任感，敏感又痛苦。Bojack人生中一個(gè)很大的課題就是想得到母親的認(rèn)可，就算在致悼詞的時(shí)候他還在耿耿于懷母親最后說(shuō)的“I see you”是什么意思。從沒被看見過(guò)的小孩終其一生都在等待著被看見?？上У氖悄赣H不會(huì)因?yàn)樗目释淖?，最后等待他的還是失望。最痛苦的是母親已經(jīng)去世了，連這點(diǎn)等待的希望也終于破滅。冷酷的世界就這樣告訴他，算了吧，你的父母不可能認(rèn)可你贊許你，我想這可能是最悲哀最傷感的事之一了。

但是我最受觸動(dòng)的是Bojack回憶母親跳舞的那一段話。Bojack的母親會(huì)定期跟朋友們聚會(huì)，聚會(huì)的結(jié)尾她總會(huì)跳一段舞。這個(gè)時(shí)候平時(shí)總是酗酒暴躁的父親也會(huì)停止抱怨，靜靜的看著妻子舞蹈，小Bojack也忘了對(duì)雙親的畏懼，感受著這一點(diǎn)“從溺水的生活中透氣”的時(shí)光。舞蹈結(jié)束，生活恢復(fù)原來(lái)的樣子，依然充斥著酒精和爭(zhēng)吵，仿佛這一點(diǎn)心靈相通的瞬間從來(lái)沒存在過(guò)。家人在一起就是互相傷害。

我想這是比“父母從來(lái)沒看到過(guò)你”更痛苦的事。明明是因?yàn)閻墼谝黄?，明明心中仍有愛，但是我們卻因?yàn)樵?jīng)受到過(guò)的貶斥和傷害把自己層層包裹起來(lái)，為了保護(hù)自己，同樣用傷害回?fù)艚o別人。家庭成了互相投射心靈最黑暗的負(fù)面情緒的場(chǎng)所，只有在忘了自我保護(hù)的時(shí)候，才散發(fā)出這一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)愛，就像砂礫中的金子一樣，支撐著人繼續(xù)忍受日復(fù)一日的痛苦。

每個(gè)被原生家庭傷害過(guò)的小孩可能都問(wèn)過(guò)自己，“我愛我的父母嗎？”?？赡芪覀儗?duì)父母的感情并沒有那么純粹，是一種復(fù)雜的多也深沉的多的情感。我的爸爸跟Bojack的爸爸有些地方有點(diǎn)像。他曾經(jīng)離開了很穩(wěn)定的事業(yè)單位的工作去做一個(gè)更自由的創(chuàng)作者。不過(guò)我從來(lái)沒看過(guò)他的作品，他似乎也不是很在意家人的評(píng)價(jià)。我還能記得我小的時(shí)候拿他的書玩，他很不耐煩的呵斥我的樣子。寫錯(cuò)了一個(gè)字被他罵“完蛋”的樣子。他也喜歡旅游，很早就走過(guò)國(guó)內(nèi)的很多地方，但是他并不喜歡跟別人一起走，只喜歡自己出去玩。我有時(shí)候覺得家人的存在對(duì)他也許是種拖累，他本來(lái)可以當(dāng)個(gè)更自由更快樂(lè)的人。也許是生活和家庭都不如意，他也有酒精方面的問(wèn)題。有一次喝多了朝我扔一個(gè)很重的掛飾，差點(diǎn)砸到我?，F(xiàn)在每次想到這個(gè)場(chǎng)景我都抑制不住的痛苦憤怒。但是我又永遠(yuǎn)記得我小時(shí)候剛上學(xué)的時(shí)候不會(huì)削鉛筆，他就每次都削好十只給我?guī)е?，他的手指頭很粗，削鉛筆的時(shí)候卻特別靈活，削好的鉛筆頭又長(zhǎng)又細(xì)。我也還記得他帶我到書店買凡爾納全集，一邊買一邊得意的說(shuō)：這套書很好看，你一定喜歡看。我寫的東西，畫的東西就算很糟糕他看到了都會(huì)很驚喜的夸我?guī)拙?。我小的時(shí)候?qū)λ泻芏嘣寡?，總覺得他無(wú)視我的想法（就像很多中式家庭的家長(zhǎng)一樣）。長(zhǎng)大之后稍微理解了他，他也有他自己糟糕復(fù)雜的原生家庭，雖然他從來(lái)不跟我說(shuō)（可能覺得我的意見不重要，我畢竟永遠(yuǎn)是個(gè)“小孩”）。沒人教過(guò)他怎么處理情緒，怎么表達(dá)愛，所以他只好像絕大多數(shù)代代相傳的中國(guó)家庭傳統(tǒng)那樣，用挑剔，控制，打壓表達(dá)愛。

雖然在一定程度上理解了他，但是我依然沒法表達(dá)我自己的愛。想要表達(dá)的時(shí)候，總會(huì)想起我灰暗焦慮的童年，像一只戰(zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢的小獸，不知道什么時(shí)候就會(huì)被罵，只好蜷縮自己縮小存在感。又有時(shí)候跟父母展示自己，想要像Bojack一樣被看到，但是得到的打擊遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)多過(guò)肯定。時(shí)時(shí)刻刻處在畏懼和恐懼之下。每當(dāng)我想跟父母和解，對(duì)他們說(shuō)些好話的時(shí)候，這個(gè)受傷的小獸就會(huì)提醒我它的存在，讓我覺得和解就是對(duì)不起那個(gè)曾經(jīng)承受過(guò)這么多痛苦的自己。所以我也繼承了這個(gè)家庭里代際間的創(chuàng)傷，學(xué)會(huì)了說(shuō)傷人的話，把愛包裹在層層的自我保護(hù)之下，用一種扭曲的方式表達(dá)出來(lái)。

但是也有愛閃耀的時(shí)刻，就像Bojack媽媽跳舞的時(shí)候那樣。春天花開的時(shí)候，我們家總要一起去公園賞花，走在耀眼陽(yáng)光下，繽紛花叢間，我爸媽仿佛也忘了相互之間的陳年舊恨，就像一對(duì)恩愛多年的夫婦那樣，互相拍照，聊天，調(diào)笑，欣賞美景。我給他們照相，三個(gè)人一起大笑。這是我記憶里為數(shù)不多的鮮明的記憶。在那一刻在我們之間，沒有傷害和痛苦，只有純粹的愛意在流動(dòng)。每次想起這樣的瞬間我都覺得溫暖，就算游玩之后回家他們之間還是會(huì)因?yàn)樽鲲堉惖氖麓蟪骋患?，搞得好幾天不跟?duì)方說(shuō)話。也許愛的力量太強(qiáng)大了，抵得過(guò)許多次傷害，就因?yàn)檫@樣閃耀的瞬間，讓我可以繼續(xù)在接下來(lái)灰暗的日子里默默忍受，直到現(xiàn)在。

我想這也許就是人生的意義之一，感受愛，給出愛。但這也是最難的課題之一。也許只有最勇敢的人才能寬恕，寬恕曾經(jīng)傷害自己的人，無(wú)視可能會(huì)受到的更大的傷害，無(wú)懼的表達(dá)出最真實(shí)的感覺，對(duì)我們?cè)谝獾娜苏f(shuō)出“我愛你”。所幸的是我父母還身體健康，我還有機(jī)會(huì)繼續(xù)修習(xí)這門課直到畢業(yè)。希望有一天我能對(duì)我的父母說(shuō)：我能看到你，我愛你。到那時(shí)候我內(nèi)心受傷的小獸應(yīng)該就已經(jīng)不會(huì)繼續(xù)悲傷了吧。

 5 ) 美國(guó)人的不可想象之處

老婆和她的玩伴總在看劇，我也耳濡目染了一些。經(jīng)過(guò)我的詢問(wèn)和她的解答，我發(fā)現(xiàn)特別喪的劇都是美國(guó)人的。我很奇怪美國(guó)人的品味，難道真的是過(guò)得太好了嗎？也許是愛看這些喪劇的美國(guó)人過(guò)得太好了，而過(guò)得不好的人并不喜歡看？也許是過(guò)得的確不好的人才喜歡，而過(guò)得好的人并不熱捧吧。我覺得事情的真相很可能是這樣：過(guò)得不錯(cuò)，但總要給自己找點(diǎn)麻煩的人，更可能覺得這個(gè)劇好。

其實(shí)這個(gè)劇給我最突出的感受，是它很像卡佛的小說(shuō)風(fēng)格。它介于兩個(gè)卡佛之間。最初出版并走紅的卡佛，是那個(gè)被編輯改過(guò)的卡佛，可以稱作“編輯卡佛”，后來(lái)又出版了未編輯的卡佛，我們稱它為“真卡佛”。這個(gè)動(dòng)畫劇的風(fēng)格和品味，恰好處在編輯卡佛和真卡佛之間。灰色得沒有編輯卡佛徹底，詼諧多過(guò)真卡佛，但比真卡佛沉重。它們的核心氣質(zhì)是一樣的，就是美國(guó)人陷于生計(jì)的內(nèi)容貧乏的生活泥潭，還有沒人幫助的糟糕的兩性關(guān)系和親子關(guān)系。

先說(shuō)兩性關(guān)系和情感方面。在所有的美劇和卡佛的小說(shuō)里，美國(guó)人的家庭關(guān)系的確和我們很不一樣。一個(gè)人從他父母身邊長(zhǎng)大，一般就會(huì)脫離出來(lái)，所有的傷害都沒有解決，只是掐斷，然后他就組建他自己的兩性關(guān)系，而且往往沒能比他的父母高明。簡(jiǎn)直毫無(wú)提高，就是按照爛攤子的樣子制造新的爛攤子。這種劇也是一樣。

還有就是美國(guó)人的物質(zhì)生活。之前讀了一本考試用書，工程經(jīng)濟(jì)，里面講了一些公司運(yùn)作、財(cái)務(wù)管理方面的原理。我不得不注意到，公司管理的所有原則最終都會(huì)產(chǎn)生同一個(gè)后果，就是爭(zhēng)分奪秒，把人的精力榨干、逼死。想到這些知識(shí)經(jīng)驗(yàn)都該源自偉大富強(qiáng)的美利堅(jiān)，美國(guó)人民的生活狀況可見一斑。這個(gè)劇里表現(xiàn)得毫無(wú)差異。

但是我很不喜歡這個(gè)劇。角色在劇里根本沒有嘗試解決問(wèn)題。有些人說(shuō)角色在成長(zhǎng)，在逐漸地改善自己的處境。在我看來(lái)，那些改進(jìn)之處都是不痛不癢的。說(shuō)他們有改善的人，好像忘了一個(gè)事實(shí)：如果角色的內(nèi)涵和定位變了，就沒法繼續(xù)往下編了，就沒法連載了，之前愛看的人就不會(huì)愛看，這可是商業(yè)規(guī)律啊。而且我要說(shuō)，肯定他們的進(jìn)步的人，同樣也不能改進(jìn)自己的生活。可能他們就搞不清楚什么才叫改進(jìn)。

翻開兩個(gè)卡佛的小說(shuō)，我們讀到的都是爛攤子，主人公收拾不了的爛攤子。那是一種沉溺，徹底的失敗。這個(gè)馬人也毫無(wú)指望。愛看馬人的，覺得感同身受的，可能也毫無(wú)指望。何以愛看？自己的苦惱被搬上了銀幕，想象著它能被很多人看到甚至理解，就獲得了一種安慰。我不否定這種安慰的積極，但是，然后呢？無(wú)所謂了，繼續(xù)上班賺錢、然后游蕩、喝酒、聊天、回家在床上翻來(lái)覆去睡不著唄。

 6 ) 別看《馬男》了，它就是塊臭豆腐

這分鐘覺得自己爛得像坨飛散的翔，下一刻又覺得世界就是個(gè)巨型廁所，自己也不是最臭不可聞那一坨，剛準(zhǔn)備原諒自己，又發(fā)現(xiàn)自己罪無(wú)可赦。

可我就愛吃臭豆腐。

某姜每天的日常是這樣：

寫不出稿，啃會(huì)兒指甲吧。

寫不出稿，看會(huì)兒資料吧。

寫不出稿，這資料一點(diǎn)用都沒有。

寫不出稿，吐槽一下主編吧。

寫不出稿，看看別人家公號(hào)都干了啥。

然后發(fā)現(xiàn)別人家公眾號(hào)發(fā)了這樣一篇文章：

這標(biāo)題句式，嚇得我絕經(jīng)。

別說(shuō)三十歲了，簡(jiǎn)直職業(yè)更年期。別說(shuō)職業(yè)瓶頸了，簡(jiǎn)直職業(yè)宮頸癌。

這種時(shí)刻，向左看看，沒有主編，向右看看，沒有領(lǐng)導(dǎo)。

還是看一集《馬男波杰克》自我療愈吧。

這劇中的每個(gè)人，都寫不出稿活得不好。

看到他們也過(guò)得不好，我就安心了。

理直氣壯原諒自己寫不出稿。

沒想到，戴安一句話劈頭蓋臉：

我最后的退路也被堵死了。

《馬男波杰克》詮釋了那一句“生命就是時(shí)時(shí)刻刻不知如何是好”。

這分鐘覺得自己爛得像坨飛散的翔，下一刻又覺得世界就是個(gè)巨型廁所，自己也不是最臭不可聞那一坨，剛準(zhǔn)備原諒自己，又發(fā)現(xiàn)自己罪無(wú)可赦。

新一季依然如此。

每個(gè)人的生活依然一團(tuán)糟，拿借口原諒自己的不完美，拿偽裝掩飾自己的混亂無(wú)助。

這樣一個(gè)故事，可不能讓《環(huán)球時(shí)報(bào)》總編輯胡錫進(jìn)看到了，不然又成了“臭豆腐”。

“臭豆腐”前因了解一下

《馬男》還偏偏是“好萊塢”的臭豆腐

①

新一季，不喪了，也更喪了

胡總編輯百思不得其解的是，負(fù)能量怎么會(huì)有人愛看？堵得慌。

可負(fù)能量是《馬男波杰克》的鹵水。不用鹵水點(diǎn)，不成臭豆腐。

而臭豆腐的鹵水里，有冬筍、香菇、曲酒、豆豉……

都是好東西，只是泡的年月長(zhǎng)了，就臭了。

像人，經(jīng)歷的事兒多了，就喪了。

隨便品品爆表的負(fù)能量：

第一季“沒用的老馬”

第二季“人間不值得”

第三季“我有病你有藥”

第四季“滿臉寫著高興”

總是為人生找到借口，親手打碎它，又拼好。

借口終于能暫時(shí)遮掩人生，但始終有道丑陋的疤。

這一季里，依然如此。

戴安去越南散心，像文藝女青年一樣列出去越南的十個(gè)理由。

都愛說(shuō)“說(shuō)走就走的旅行”、“詩(shī)與遠(yuǎn)方”，其實(shí)大多數(shù)人是“不想工作”“我失戀了”。

其實(shí)不過(guò)“我離開你，就是旅行的意義”

文青般的十個(gè)理由全是借口，真相是你孤獨(dú)了

波杰克被母親虐了一輩子。

童年陰影

他曾經(jīng)說(shuō)，我倆之中死一個(gè)就好了。

這一季，母親真的死了。他卻發(fā)現(xiàn)，傷害沒有隨著生命而終止，反而變成了一個(gè)死結(jié)，永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法達(dá)成和解。

第六集，他在葬禮上脫口秀了一整集，試圖弄清母親臨終“我看見你了(I see you)”的含義，希望真的被母親“看見”、重視。

卻原來(lái)只是ICU(重癥監(jiān)護(hù)室)

凱洛琳公主，想起來(lái)洛杉磯之前的歲月。

本來(lái)應(yīng)該是奉子成婚，嫁入好人家，考個(gè)公務(wù)員，在小城市里操心房?jī)r(jià)尿布奶粉。

命運(yùn)卻讓她流產(chǎn)，注定她要來(lái)大都市。

但這么多年了，卻回到了想要孩子的原點(diǎn)。

原來(lái)只是換了身衣服原地打轉(zhuǎn)，還是在機(jī)場(chǎng)

時(shí)間把殺馬特變成了啤酒肚，好像人只會(huì)衰退

很多人說(shuō)這一季沒那么喪了。

他們開始改變，開始成長(zhǎng)。

我卻覺得成長(zhǎng)最喪。

小時(shí)候你覺得是因?yàn)槟闾?，所以無(wú)法解決家庭、學(xué)習(xí)工作、婚姻愛情等種種難題。

原來(lái)越長(zhǎng)大越是死局。

成長(zhǎng)是終于妥協(xié)，終于告別。

②

那些人，長(zhǎng)大了，也變小了

為什么要看喪劇，看負(fù)能量呢？

連馬男自己都吐槽：

看些無(wú)腦爽劇多好啊

我也只想看看人們談?wù)剳賽?/div>

再看看人們談?wù)剳賽?/div>

以及看看人們談?wù)剳賽郯?？？?/div>

可是為什么還是要看《馬男波杰克》，要看[江湖兒女]呢？

因?yàn)榉炊芏嗝罎M的故事，才是鴉片啊。

傻白甜的故事，吸完白光閃過(guò)，然后是一片空虛的賢者時(shí)間。

我和這些幸福的人兒，一定沒生活在同一個(gè)宇宙。

不然為什么只有我活得這么難？

恰恰是《馬男波杰克》這樣的喪劇，揮舞著大棒，把我打暈，又用水把我澆醒。

讓我突然醒悟：原來(lái)大家一樣慘啊。

你加班，別人就不加班嗎？

你寫不出稿，別人就寫得出稿嗎？

我敢說(shuō)，在社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上搞個(gè)“寫手米兔運(yùn)動(dòng)”，一定應(yīng)者眾：

“我因?qū)懜宥^禿?！薄拔乙彩恰！?/span>

在《馬男波杰克》這一季季終，波杰克要戴安再寫書，寫他有多混蛋，以“認(rèn)罪”，讓自己的痛苦獲得解脫。

戴安卻說(shuō)：

我們只是普通人，不是罪人

喪到頭了，就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，人都一樣，不分國(guó)界，不分種族，都不好不壞，一肚子苦水。

這樣的負(fù)能量看多了，不是令人焦躁，反而學(xué)會(huì)慈悲。

把自己放低一點(diǎn)，縮小一點(diǎn)，不再把自己的痛苦看成天大的痛苦，而是全人類相似痛苦的其中一個(gè)碎片。

先知道“人生為何如此的艱難”，“有些事”才“不拆穿”。

諒解了別人，也才能寬恕自己。

波杰克問(wèn)：

萬(wàn)一我清醒了還是混蛋怎么辦？

傻瓜，當(dāng)然還是混蛋。

成長(zhǎng)是終于不再要答案了，終于接受人生無(wú)解。

即使改變了，成長(zhǎng)了，痛感也不會(huì)減少半分，你只是學(xué)會(huì)了忍受。

心還是躁動(dòng)不安，屁股還是如坐針氈，人也還是難以自處。

你只是學(xué)會(huì)了利用這種痛感，去成長(zhǎng)，去和別人、和自己和平共處。

③

臭豆腐，更臭了，也不臭了

沒捏著鼻子吃過(guò)臭豆腐的人，不足以談人生。

小時(shí)候我是最討厭臭豆腐的。

放學(xué)路上小巷口，油鍋?zhàn)汤仓表?，就像幫臭豆腐的氣味分子放炮仗助威，挑釁鼻孔?/p>

這個(gè)時(shí)候，會(huì)有個(gè)扎雙麻花的小妹妹捏著鼻子，跑遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)再回頭，沖著臭豆腐唱起來(lái)：

“臭豆腐臭，臭豆腐臭，臭豆腐臭豆腐臭臭臭。”

多年后，雙麻花小妹妹長(zhǎng)成了披頭散發(fā)的老姐姐。

在加班寫稿的深夜里，小攤上油鍋的滋啦聲怎么那么好聽呢？臭豆腐升騰起來(lái)的熱氣里，怎么臭里帶著溫柔呢？

她塞了滿嘴臭豆腐，落下兩行熱淚：

“真香?！?/span>

-

文：姜不停

文章源自微信公眾號(hào)：電影解毒

 短評(píng)

相比前四季本季感覺略微不那么出彩，劇情上有些過(guò)于追溯歷史，在惡趣味上有點(diǎn)過(guò)火（Sex Robot，女權(quán)主義…）。盡管也有在創(chuàng)意上相當(dāng)出彩的E6、E7、E8，但整體給我的感覺還是多了幾分壓抑，而原因無(wú)非是劇中角色雖有正面積極的進(jìn)步，但也被展現(xiàn)了更多的陰暗面，整體加和的表現(xiàn)則是缺乏進(jìn)步，盡管這正是這部劇的“喪”的核心，但這一次在我看來(lái)還是有點(diǎn)失衡。

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