The Pfeffermans are out of their minds. They literally shed themselves, heaps of souls on the floor, and out stepped the carefree, fun-seeking, trans-formed Pfeffermans. We can now binge-watch how they live their crazy to the fullest in Amazon original series, Transparent, thanks to the wonderful Jill Soloway.

First, it was crazy of a natural, familiar dose, like bickering over dinner while chewing Canter’s Deli barbecue ribs, but as the show spirals, it keeps bringing the game to new jaw-dropping levels. Former “poppa” of the family, Morton came out as a transgender, and has been reborn as “moppa” Maura; Sarah, the eldest sibling, divorced her husband for a dalliance with her college girlfriend; Josh, her younger brother, kept on impregnating women and losing his jobs thanks to numerous panic attacks; and Ali, the youngest and the craziest, dabbled and dived in drugs and lesbianism. The off-the-charts crazy detailed in sometimes too sexually graphic ways can be startling, but their crazy never rang hollow. It usually precedes irredeemable screw-ups in parenting, break-ups, sobbing in the restroom stall, or outbursts of road rage, and lives on a dangerous amount of egocentrism until there isn’t any.

I recognize some of their crazy. I live some versions of their crazy. I shivered when Maura acquiesced that she blackballed female applicants in grad school, and despite her gender identity, still refused to let go of the entitled, sexist Morty she was born as, or when Ali tried to talk her girlfriend into polyamory just to act on her infatuation towards her teacher (“What is being queer if not questioning everything?” she said, and by “everything” she meant, and I quote, “knee-jerk hetero-normative”), for I react just as badly towards ugly revelations, and bear the same lingering inconsistency. Even more frequently do I stumble to discover that I often feel lonely, from either getting my heart broken more than it should, or a lack of companion to help me stride forward, as do the characters, chugging tumblers of vodka, exchanging static eye contact with Chinese takeout in the microwave. Jill paints the life of a daring family where the audience could cull out and contemplate over their worst nightmares, but feel safe getting vulnerable along with the Pfeffermans. I, apart from all that, find her works rather intimate from where I stand. She’s trying to explore life’s infinite mutability through her feminine gaze. So am I.

性別，性取向，女權(quán)，身份認(rèn)同，家庭，種族，宗教，大屠殺，衰老，死亡。。。當(dāng)敝國(guó)的觀眾還在猛追宮斗婆媳亂斗時(shí)，美國(guó)人已經(jīng)把電視劇推向的另一種境界。緊跟Netflix，亞馬遜從2013年開(kāi)始不滿足于僅僅播放制作好的節(jié)目。或許亞馬遜自制劇還沒(méi)有達(dá)到像Netflix的紙牌屋那種流行程度，但是這部Transparent絕對(duì)是今年美劇中的驚艷之作。

剛開(kāi)始看這部劇的時(shí)候，劇中出現(xiàn)猶太教家庭和LGBT原素讓我認(rèn)為這不過(guò)是一部夸張版摩登家庭，一部更加政治正確的美劇，但是這部劇絕不是那么簡(jiǎn)單。劇情以一家在洛杉磯的猶太家庭，退休大學(xué)教授父親Mort出柜為線索。他對(duì)家庭承認(rèn)自己是transgender(跨性別)，生理特征為男性，但是心理性別是女性。于是Mort變成Maura，爸爸變成了媽爸。大女兒Sarah貌似有完美的家庭，富有的老公和兩個(gè)可愛(ài)的孩子；二兒子Josh貌似有高收入體面的工作，并整天被小美女們圍繞；小女兒Ali似乎最不上進(jìn)，沒(méi)有讀完大學(xué)，一直無(wú)所事事；離婚的母親再嫁，和現(xiàn)任丈夫住在花園環(huán)抱的養(yǎng)老公寓。然而這一切都隨著Maura的出柜而發(fā)生轉(zhuǎn)變。

美國(guó)式的政治正確往往體現(xiàn)在種族和性取向這兩個(gè)方面：這是一部以猶太家庭為背景的劇，其中還有黑人養(yǎng)女角色；性取向更是五花八門，比如說(shuō)Maura出柜以后開(kāi)始穿女裝，性別認(rèn)同為女性，但是她性取向還是女性，所以跨性別的她其實(shí)是女同性戀。Sarah和大學(xué)時(shí)的女友偶遇后如干柴烈火，鬧到離開(kāi)丈夫要跟女友結(jié)婚，但是她并不是女同，她最有可能的是性癮和性受虐者。Ali一直處于探索自己性取向中，她甚至嘗試和跨性別男性做愛(ài)，最終發(fā)現(xiàn)自己愛(ài)女人。Josh從小和保姆有不尋常的關(guān)系，如果從法律上說(shuō)他是被猥褻長(zhǎng)大。

當(dāng)代對(duì)性別和性取向的定義不再是鐵板一塊，F(xiàn)acebook曾經(jīng)給出56個(gè)性別選項(xiàng)。生理性別不再是決定人類性別的唯一標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，性取向也同樣。除了極端異性戀和極端同性戀，很多人的性取向處于中間地帶。如果真有神存在，他并沒(méi)有把人類制造成完美的生物。他讓人類天生缺陷，有些人類的生理性別和心理性別也許并不一致，這樣的錯(cuò)位甚至來(lái)自基因。我們每個(gè)人都帶著自身缺陷跌跌撞撞前行。而那些所謂正常只是相對(duì)而言，trans在大多數(shù)眼中也許是畸形不正常，可是當(dāng)一個(gè)“正常人”進(jìn)入trans的世界，他才是不正常的那個(gè)。

人的社會(huì)屬性也決定著他的性別和性取向，而大部分時(shí)候人類屈從于這種社會(huì)屬性， 所以Maura在68歲時(shí)才敢出柜，Ali在33歲時(shí)才認(rèn)清楚自己喜歡女人。但是，這部劇里講的最重要一點(diǎn)就是如何真實(shí)地面對(duì)自己，無(wú)論是性取向性別還是外貌。這里沒(méi)有網(wǎng)紅臉，沒(méi)有刻意磨皮和化妝。每一張面孔都不完美，每一個(gè)人都是自私自利自我，像我們每一個(gè)人類。Maura第一次出柜未果時(shí)說(shuō)：“他們真自私。我不知道自己怎么養(yǎng)大了這三個(gè)只顧自己的孩子?！蔽ㄓ谐姓J(rèn)這些缺陷才能真實(shí)地面對(duì)自己。導(dǎo)演讓這樣一群缺陷的人生活在缺陷的家庭中，把他們每一個(gè)人的崩潰時(shí)刻和黑暗內(nèi)心推到觀眾面前，不做判斷和評(píng)價(jià)。讓他們隨意在觀眾面前更衣，沐浴，做愛(ài)，自然的就像我們自己的生活。我因此窺見(jiàn)了許多身體，皮膚的皺紋，松弛的身體，下垂的乳房。有一集是關(guān)于女性營(yíng)地，我從來(lái)沒(méi)有在一集中看到這么多乳房，這些乳房大都不完美，細(xì)小的肥胖的下垂的，甚至有一個(gè)切除了乳房。然而在這些不完美的形狀中，是最真實(shí)狀態(tài)的美。就像每一具人體，每一個(gè)自然之物一般，我們本該回到身體最自然的狀態(tài)。

導(dǎo)演Jill Soloway是一個(gè)女權(quán)主義者，她的父親2011年以跨性別的身份出柜。這絕對(duì)是部倡導(dǎo)女權(quán)的美劇，同時(shí)也顛覆著男權(quán)社會(huì)對(duì)女性的看法。當(dāng)男教授們還在叫women study(女性研究)時(shí)，女教授就出來(lái)糾正他們：應(yīng)該叫g(shù)ender study（性別研究）。天文學(xué)男教授說(shuō)：我們當(dāng)然很歡迎有更多的女生加入科學(xué)家的行列。女生們?cè)谙旅嬲f(shuō)：誰(shuí)需要你的批準(zhǔn)和歡迎。對(duì)女性的不公平體現(xiàn)在男權(quán)社會(huì)的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴中，那個(gè)女性營(yíng)地因此而產(chǎn)生，一年一次聚會(huì)，在營(yíng)地女性可以做任何她們想做的事情，裸體走在露天，不需要擔(dān)心男人的眼光。一個(gè)女人說(shuō)：我被男人強(qiáng)奸過(guò)，我們都被男人強(qiáng)奸過(guò)。她指的是這個(gè)男權(quán)的社會(huì)。這個(gè)營(yíng)地是女性的安全天堂。然而女性們籌備了一年，在這里相聚時(shí)卻更多是發(fā)泄對(duì)男人的仇恨。她們限定女性的定義是woman born woman，Maura們就被排斥在外。這部劇推崇女權(quán)的同時(shí)也批判女權(quán)運(yùn)動(dòng)，它和任何社會(huì)運(yùn)動(dòng)一樣，被自身所局限。本來(lái)需要讓更多人聽(tīng)見(jiàn)女性的聲音，卻和那個(gè)營(yíng)地一樣困在樹(shù)林里。

美國(guó)猶太人的命運(yùn)是這部劇里很重要的故事線。劇中祖母來(lái)自德國(guó)，1930年代逃到美國(guó)。祖母的哥哥也是一個(gè)trans，但是納粹很快席卷德國(guó)，母親帶著女兒逃離柏林，兒子卻被抓起來(lái)了。希伯來(lái)語(yǔ)是最古老的語(yǔ)言之一，美國(guó)猶太人從小接受希伯來(lái)語(yǔ)的教育，讀希伯來(lái)語(yǔ)圣經(jīng)。Sarah婚禮上的希伯萊語(yǔ)舞曲Hora Dance源自東歐舞曲，但是曲風(fēng)分明像是來(lái)自游牧的沙漠，放牧人夜晚圍篝火而舞。幾千年來(lái)世界各地的猶太人依然是那個(gè)游牧民族，哪里才是他們想回去的神圣家園？

猶太人掌握著美國(guó)的經(jīng)濟(jì)命脈，但是往往生活低調(diào)。我的猶太朋友說(shuō)除了猶太節(jié)日外他們很少慶祝什么。那么多猶太人對(duì)人類發(fā)展做出貢獻(xiàn)，可是世人很少知道他們是猶太人。著名建筑師Frank Gary甚至為掩蓋他的猶太身份而改名。他們的生活中充滿罪惡感，猶太人每年最神圣的一天是Yom Kippur(贖罪日)，那一天他們高唱贖罪的圣歌，向周圍的人道歉，請(qǐng)求寬恕，這樣他們可以繼續(xù)下一年的生活。猶太人的歷史中充滿淚水，這部劇更是笑中帶淚。當(dāng)Rabbi（猶太教老師） Raquel哭的時(shí)候，當(dāng)Josh的哭的時(shí)候，他們的淚水和耶路撒冷哭墻前人們的淚水相連，他們用淚水去悲傷和悼念。

劇中最美妙的時(shí)刻是Ali念一首叫I always put my pussy的詩(shī)。既然男人們能夠常常把陽(yáng)具掛在嘴邊，有些男詩(shī)人恨不得全世界聞他腫脹的荷爾蒙，女人為什么不可以讓世界聽(tīng)聽(tīng)陰部的聲音？
I always put my pussy
By Eileen Myles

I always put my pussy
in the middle of trees
like a waterfall
like a doorway to God
like a flock of birds.
I always put my lover's cunt
on the crest
of a wave
like a flag
that I can
pledge my
allegiance
to. This is my
country. Here,
when we're alone
in public.
My lover's pussy
is a badge
is a night stick
is a helmet
is a deer's face
is a handful
of flowers
is a waterfall
is a river
of blood
is a bible
is a hurricane
is a soothsayer.
My lover's pussy
is a battle cry
is a prayer
is lunch
is wealth
is happy
is on teevee
has a sense of humor
has a career
has a cup of coffee
goes to work
meditates
is always alone
knows my face
knows my tongue
knows my hands
is an alarmist
has lousy manners
knows her mind

I always put
my pussy in the middle
of trees
like a waterfall
a piece of jewelry
that I wear on my chest
like a badge
here in America
so my lover & I
can be safe.

我總是把我的貓
By Eileen Myles
我總是把我的貓
放在樹(shù)木中間
像瀑布
像通往上帝的門徑
像鳥(niǎo)群。
我總是把愛(ài)人的陰戶
放在波浪
的波峰之上
像一面
我可以
宣誓效忠
的旗幟。
這是我的
國(guó)家。這里，
當(dāng)我們公開(kāi)
獨(dú)處。
愛(ài)人的陰戶
是徽章
是警棍
是頭盔
是鹿的臉
是一捧
鮮花
是瀑布
是一條
鮮血匯集的河流
是圣經(jīng)
是颶風(fēng)
是占卜者。
愛(ài)人的陰戶
是戰(zhàn)斗口號(hào)
是祈禱
是午飯
是財(cái)富
是幸福
在電視里
有幽默感
有職業(yè)
帶一杯咖啡
去上班
冥想
總是獨(dú)自的
知道我的臉
知道我的舌頭
知道我的手
是危言聳聽(tīng)
沒(méi)有禮貌
知道她的心
 
我總是把
我的貓放在
樹(shù)木中間
像瀑布
一件首飾
我?guī)г谛乜?br>像徽章
在這里，美國(guó)
愛(ài)人和我
是安全的。

小時(shí)候看的動(dòng)畫，小蝌蚪找媽媽。蝌蚪本身是沒(méi)有父母概念的，看到別的動(dòng)物和父母在一起，產(chǎn)生了對(duì)自身來(lái)源的疑惑，于是開(kāi)始了它的尋找路程。在一路上，一邊接受各方給予它的關(guān)于母親的信息，一邊變態(tài)發(fā)育，最終，與母親相遇，完成了自我。
而真正的人生更具有張力。人類自出生起，面對(duì)父權(quán)與母權(quán)便展開(kāi)了一場(chǎng)逃離。逃離是否是另一種回歸。
一面追求自我、自由與尊嚴(yán)，作為生命的反抗；離婚、出柜、變性，挑戰(zhàn)命運(yùn)；另一面，滋養(yǎng)與慰藉，訴諸家庭與宗教，無(wú)法避免地渴望來(lái)自古老的共同的聯(lián)系的擁抱；規(guī)訓(xùn)、愛(ài)與安全感。
一種永恒的矛盾。

Just some notes and thoughts of the series after the binge-watching.

Since I did not watch the Emmy Awards ceremony last year, I had no idea of the show before and didn’t expect all this either. Generally, it's wilder and more independent and natural than other TV series.
Get quite impressed at start and finally, touched. Just as one critic says: it’s groundbreaking.

As for the title, certainly it refers to the journey of coming out, secrets revealed. But gradually you’ll break it down to “trans” and “parent”. What a clever use of pun! Must be a challenge for translation.

The creator of the show describes it as “funny, dirty, and sad”. It’s more than accurate. For instance, I really didn't mean to laugh but it just gets hilarious, even hysterical at some point.

It’s an Amazon original series and according to the series creator, the reason of choosing Amazon instead of HBO or Showtime is that there’s more openness of procedures. For example, too many adjustments of the original transcripts can be avoided and it will be on air in a short time.

Key Words: LA, religion, gender, sexuality, feminism, marriage, family, identity, secrecy, relationship, boundary.

1.Judaism
Before the series, the only thing I might know about Jewish customs is the Passover and Seder, a festival to commemorates the story of the Exodus. While the series just offers a great chance to get to know the Jewish customs.

<Bar Mitzvah is the coming of age ceremony in which boys become the son of the commandment at 13 while girls at 12. So when Ali said she didn’t believe in God, her Bar Mitzvah was cancelled.

Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year also known as the Day of Atonement coming with fasting and prayer. The appropriate greeting on this occasion is good Yontif.

Shiva is the week-long mourning period in response to the story in Genesis in which Joseph mourns the death of his father Jacob (Israel) for seven days. At the funeral, keriah is a ritual to tear an outer garment, which explains why Ali cut her necktie after the funeral of Ed. In the household, mirrors are covered during the Shiva, which is also a tradition shared by many nations.

The traditional Jewish wedding includes a ketubah (marriage contract) which is signed by two witnesses, a wedding canopy (chuppah or huppah), a ring owned by the groom that is given to the bride under the canopy, and the breaking of a glass. All of these are vividly depicted in the show and the Jewish songs and dances just appear to be really exotic. This wedding scene at the beginning of the second season is genuinely epic.

A rabbi is a teacher of Torah and the skullcap they wear is called kippah or yarmulke in Yiddish.

Sabbath is the seventh day of the Hebrew calendar week, which in English is known as Saturday.
Jewish Shabbat/Shabbath is a weekly day of rest, observed from sundown on Friday until the appearance of three stars in the sky on Saturday night.>

BTW, it’s the first time that I have found Jewish people so adorable and lovely on the screen (no offence). And when Sarah shouted "those WASPs" on her wedding day, the great rift between religions suddenly become obvious than ever, while I just couldn't help but laugh.

2.Family
The Pfefferman is a complicated family. They do not appear to be likeable, but you just cannot deny they are special and have a big heart. Just as Ali says, there is a great chasm in her family and it’s a house full of secrecy. It has three self-absorbed adult children and the parents also seem to be irresponsible despite their wealth and social status. They fight constantly but in the end they always get together. They are in the middle of family reconstruction.

3.Gender
It’s worth mentioning that It’s Jill Soloway who created this brilliant show. And she is a Jewish, a feminist and a lesbian, or rather, just being Jill Soloway. The story of the show is also partly based on her own family and her father coming out as a trans. Jill takes it as her “creative destiny” to display the experience of her family on screen.
The show is basically a lively community of LGBT, and people may dislike it because it’s full of drama or simply too unrealistic, but the incredible part of the show really lies in the potential possibilities it presents us. We have the choice to be a male, female, or gender-neutral; we are free to be asexual, bisexual, heterosexual or homosexual; we can just decide who to marry and remarry.
Since we all hate to fall into the situation of stereotypes or over-generalization, it’s very hard to make definitions or pin someone down with a label sometimes. Hence the definition and relation of gender, sexuality and marriage is simply not limited by one set of rules or modes. It’s kind of a discussion of power, rights, and possibly the morality. And in my opinion, from the standpoint of an individual, it all comes down to the point that we should have the freedom to choose and become who we really are, and to do what we really like without asking for the permission from others.
Having too many alternatives doesn’t always lead to wise decisions, but still we have to admit diversity is the essential part of the evolution of nature as well as our own development.

As I watch it, I’m in the same process of confusion and trying to understand them. But it’s really hard to imagine and put yourself in their shoes if you haven’t shared their experience before.

<Transvestism is the practice of dressing and acting in a style or manner traditionally associated with the other sex.

Cross-dressers are men who wear female clothing and often both admire and imitate women, but self-identify as different from both gay men and transsexuals, and generally deny having fetishistic intentions.>

 BTW, too much nudity might be one of the few uncomfortable parts of the show, and Jill herself also acknowledges it’s meant for the commercial reasons.

4.Identity
It’s never a complete story without sadness. Here, the death of Ed is sad, and seeing grandma sitting in the nursing home is sad. I guess it’s always sad to witness the loss of memory. It feels like you are losing yourself piece by piece and there is merely no way to fight against it. Still, without any doubt we spend all our life trying to find who we are despite the frustration and disappointment along the way or in the end. Just as Maura says, it’s OK to be sad.
LA is the ideal place for dreaming and becoming, living in the breeze under the sunshine. The feisty and vulnerable Pfefferman are stepping on a journey of healing and becoming, of learning and growing, and of experimenting and loving.
On this long road, probably the best thing we can say is: "I've always known you; I've always loved you; of course I still love you."

Reference:
http://www.npr.org/2014/10/30/360116374/funny-dirty-sad-the-holy-trinity-for-transparent-creator-jill-soloway#
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3502262/?ref_=nv_sr_1
//en.wikipedia.org.

Some new words:
limerence
sinsemilla
bidet(oscillate, pulsate)
mercury retrograde
hermaphrodite
scallop
wonky
speck
turret
absolve
heathen
vagabond
pariah
gander
mahogany
tangy
lupus
shingle
palisade
cantaloupe

處理的比第一季還要細(xì)膩 每個(gè)人的情緒都被放大了 但是不得不說(shuō) 這個(gè)家庭的每個(gè)人是不被人愛(ài)的 每個(gè)人都有心底創(chuàng)傷 敏感的老小很受周圍人的影響 矯情任性的大姐覺(jué)得可以隨意傷害別人 到處跟別人說(shuō)自己是缺乏母愛(ài)的祈求可以被原諒被愛(ài) 這是最不討喜的角色 Moppa從心底里害怕外界對(duì)自己的看法 一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)小事情都會(huì)被放大成對(duì)自己的偏見(jiàn) 既然做出了改變 卻不敢走的更遠(yuǎn) 很喜歡很喜歡片頭 每次看都會(huì)覺(jué)得回到那個(gè)時(shí)代 每個(gè)時(shí)代都在追求自由 權(quán)力 但是 希望是在不傷害他人的基礎(chǔ)上吧