My dearest Lytton,

There is a great deal to say, and I feel very incomplete to write it today. You see, I knew there was nothing really to hope for from you. Well, ever since beginning. All these years, I have known all along that my life with you was limited. Lytton, you are the only person who I ever had an all-Absorbing passion for. I shall never have another. I couldn't, now. I had one of the most self-Abasing loves that a person can have. It's too much of a strain to be quite alone here, waiting to see you or craning my nose and eyes out of the top window at 44, Gordon Square to see if you were coming down the street. Ralph said you were nervous lest I'd feel I had some sort of claim on you. And that all your friends wondered how you stood me so long as I didn't understand a word of literature. That was wrong. For nobody, I think, could have loved the Ballards, Donne and Macanlay's Essays and, best of all, Lytton's Essays, as much as I. You never know, or never will know the very big and devastating love I had for you. How I adored every hair, every curl of your beard. Just thinking of you makes me cry so I can't see this paper. Once you said to me, that Wednesday afternoon in the sitting room, you loved me as a friend. Could you tell it to me again? Yours, Carrington

My dearest and best,

Do you know how difficult I find it to express my feelings, either in letters or talk? Do you really want me to tell you that I love you as a friend? But of course that is absurd. And you do know very well that I love you as something more than a friend, you angelic creature, whose goodness has made me happy for years. Your letter made me cry. I feel a poor, old, miserable creature. If there was a chance that your decision meant that I should somehow or other lose you, I don't think I could bear it. You and Ralph and our life at Tidmarsh are what I care for most in the world.

Just can't read these words out.

Carrington 的真實生活比電影中呈現(xiàn)的更加復雜。

電影好像是圍繞她展開，但很多時候她都像個局外人。

兩段窗戶內外的場景表現(xiàn)得太好。

男人們對她有這樣那樣的要求，留下來過夜，去倫敦，去西班牙，結婚，但很少真正在乎她的想法。

利頓是關心她的，但沒有愛情?？伤龕鬯谑侵荒苓x擇那樣復雜的關系。這段感情里，她說“我是你的凈筆巾pen wiper”。

畫面拍得很美，男女都演得很好。片尾那幅畫感覺到了Carrington對利頓的愛。

這部電影和《理智與情感》都是1995，都提名了BAFTA。兩個角色差的比較大，Emma演起這種抓馬擰巴的文青太出色了。

女人愛同志，同志愛直男，直男愛她。感情真是不公平。

Ps.感謝Emma為了藝術獻身，我看了，我好了。

抱著花那里我夢回《去日留痕》，Miss Keaton，永遠的痛。