Do you know what asses are, patrick?

Asses are the human race's favorite thing.We like them on each other, we like them on magazine covers, we even like them on babies.

When we're alone, we like to scratch them, when there's a fire, we like to warm them, and who among us hasn't, in a lonely moment, reached back for a discreet fondle?

We love our asses.When God gave us our asses, he had to stick them round the back just so we wouldn't sit and stare at them all day. 'cuse when God made the ass, he didn't say, "It's just your basic hinge. Let's knock off early." he said,"behold ye angels, I have created the ass. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these and shout my name."

復(fù)習(xí)coupling又看到第三季了，以前以為就三季呢后來才知道還有第四季，但是沒有jeff了那還有什么好看的嗎（摔！

“六人行必不靠譜”，英美劇集創(chuàng)造了這個(gè)新的定律。所謂三角形具有穩(wěn)定性，所以但凡六人搭檔，總能在同性之間保持微妙的穩(wěn)定又能在異性之中建議復(fù)雜的戀情。這是Coupling玩得最精妙的地方。
至于這六個(gè)小伙伴，一本正經(jīng)從床上開始談戀愛一路走到的翹臀美人Susan和不太成器的帥哥Steve的關(guān)系，明顯是愛情主線，分屏探討男女不同的婚戀觀；而完全脫線的Jeff和生活在自己次元的Jane分別負(fù)責(zé)添亂搞笑和引入新元素；最后就不得不提及這對(duì)小伙伴了——三腳架VS皺紋女。他們的感情才是這里面最有意義的談戀愛。
無所不能擁有傲人資本的Patrick在Sally面前第一次吃了敗仗，從此就注定二人關(guān)系的不平凡。可偏偏是一個(gè)悶騷白目男，一個(gè)傲嬌自卑女，有感情埋在心底（也可能是忘記了）。早在第一次見面的時(shí)候，就給錯(cuò)了電話號(hào)碼，可是有情人終成眷屬這句話總不是蓋的，兜兜轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)，真正相愛的人還是會(huì)走回到一起，繼續(xù)他們的幸福生活。
現(xiàn)實(shí)生活大概不會(huì)如此，有刻意制造的浪漫，有無心經(jīng)營(yíng)的幸福，可是誰會(huì)真的注意床頭柜上，隨手放下，緊緊挨著的高腳杯呢？
又有誰會(huì)真的在最狼狽的時(shí)刻相遇，在互相拆穿和對(duì)抗到底后欣欣然的走到一起？
為了夢(mèng)中一只蜘蛛三更半夜飛奔而去？
《蜘蛛俠》的梗用的實(shí)在太好，除了一如既往的無厘頭和前后呼應(yīng)的宿命感之外，或許更是一種愛情的態(tài)度：
我是你的蜘蛛人，為了你無所不能。
千絲萬縷的關(guān)系，雖然結(jié)成了難以掙脫的網(wǎng)，但同時(shí)也是永遠(yuǎn)將我引向你的軌跡。
很好也很遺憾的是，這兩個(gè)人大概永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)好好談戀愛?？墒钦l在意呢？愛情說到底不是用嘴巴談出來的，而是用心暖出來的。
祝天下人都找到自己的蜘蛛人。

杰夫是一個(gè)很奇怪的人，他有著各種各樣奇奇怪怪的理論。他不像史蒂夫，有著高大帥氣的外表，也不像帕特里克，天賦異稟，器大活好，三十歲了還深受老媽的困擾，總是忍不住面對(duì)女性腦洞大開，把本來就渺茫的機(jī)會(huì)浪費(fèi)。一開始我是不喜歡的。直到有一次，他提出了那個(gè)經(jīng)典的“giggle loop"爆笑理論，才讓我像找到了組織一般欣喜若狂。
所謂的“giggle loop”按照杰夫的話來說，就是在一個(gè)非常嚴(yán)肅、莊重的時(shí)刻，突然向你襲來一股笑意，你拼命想要抑制住，而這股笑意卻像金字塔一樣越堆越高，然后在一個(gè)瞬間轟然倒塌。劇里腐男三人組在簡(jiǎn)姑媽的葬禮上像瘋子一樣大笑的場(chǎng)景讓我想起了一件好久之前的事。
初中的時(shí)候，有一次期末復(fù)習(xí)，在英語課上，老師臨時(shí)離開教室，其他同學(xué)都在讀書，我和同桌趁著機(jī)會(huì)開始聊起天來。聊到興奮處，英語老師的身影如幽靈一般慢慢從我身旁的玻璃窗上顯現(xiàn)，火熱的氣氛瞬間凍結(jié)。下一秒，同桌就被拉到教室后面挨了打，“啪啪”響亮的聲響讓喧鬧的教室里瞬間安靜了下來。每個(gè)知情或不知情的人，都被這兩聲嚇得不敢動(dòng)彈。說話的是我們倆個(gè)，同桌替我挨了打，其實(shí)我覺得非常對(duì)不起他?？墒蔷驮谶@關(guān)鍵的時(shí)刻，我卻做出了一個(gè)當(dāng)時(shí)看來非常不可思議的舉動(dòng)——我竟然“噗嗤”一聲笑了出來。連自己也完全無法理解為什么我會(huì)這么做。更丟臉的是，當(dāng)時(shí)圍觀了所有事情經(jīng)過的坐在我前排的男生，是我暗戀的對(duì)象。時(shí)隔這么久，我依然清楚地記得當(dāng)他看到我笑時(shí)露出的鄙夷的表情。我的還未發(fā)芽的初戀就這樣扼殺在了搖籃里。
如果時(shí)光能夠倒流，我多么希望前排的男生是杰夫，這樣，當(dāng)我在人生中最尷尬的時(shí)刻，他能夠毫無在意地拍拍我的肩膀，告訴我，我不是一個(gè)沒良心的人，這一切都是該死的“giggle loop”的錯(cuò)。

coupling第一季第二季看的總是比較迷茫，比如抓不到笑點(diǎn)之類的，Jeff一開始也沒有感到可愛，不由自主會(huì)覺得friends似乎更符合我的笑點(diǎn)。

然后，好像哪天茅塞頓開一樣，第三季開始每集都笑的在床上打滾，昨天看完了第三季最后兩集。有兩段對(duì)白講的酣暢淋漓，個(gè)人喜歡的不得了。

另外，主題曲我也很愛，就都貼出來分享下。

You won't admitt love me,
and so how am I ever to know, you always tell me, perhaps,perhaps,perhaps.


對(duì)白一，關(guān)于衛(wèi)生間裝不裝鎖。Susan和Steve同居Ing~

Susan：man and toliet- the love that dare not speak its name. what's that about.

Steve：（開始發(fā)飆~）
We are man, throughout history we have always needed, in times of difficulty to retreat to our caves.
It so happens in theis modern age that our caves a fully plumped.
The toliet for us, is the last bastion, the final refuge,the last few square feet of man-space lefe for us!
Somewhere to sit, something to read, something to do, and who gives a damn about the smell?
Because that for us, is happiness. Because we are man, we are different, we have only one word for "soap", we do not own candles, we have never seen anything of any value in the craft shop.
We do not own magazines full of photographs of celebrities with all their clothes on! (這是你們的心聲啊心聲~~）
When we have conversations, we actually take it in turns to talk! But we have not yet reached that level of earth-shattering boardom and imhuman dispair where we'd have a haircut recreationally.
We don't know how to get excited about REALLY, REALLY boring things, like ornaments, bath oil, the countryside, vases, small churches.
I mean, we do not even know what in the name of god's ass is the purpose of the potpourri! looks like breadfast, smell like your auntie!
Why do we need that? so please-in this strange and frightening world, allow us one last place to call our own, this toliet, this blessed pot, this fortress of solitude. you girls, you may go to the bathroom in groups of two or more, yet we do not pass comment, we do not make judgement, that is your choice.
But we men will always walk the toliet mile alone!


對(duì)白二：在Sally對(duì)Patrick意外的表白后 Patrick表示要和她說清楚

Patrick：Sally.

Sally：Patrick. (環(huán)顧四周，因?yàn)榈攸c(diǎn)是他們6個(gè)人經(jīng)常聚在一起喝酒的酒吧，但是現(xiàn)在一個(gè)人都沒有）private function?

Patrick: yeah, there's something later.

Sally: oh, so that's not us, then.

Patrick: no, no. definitely not us. Sally...you are the most wonderful woman in the history of the entire universe. you're incredible, you've got the looks of a miss world with the brains to match. you're more than a woman, you are like a .....man.....seriously, you could be a bloke anytime you want, obviously a bloke with some pretty serious defects, but who cares about that. I've seen you down drinks with best of them. I wish I had a mother like you, or a grandmother, or any kind of ...... ancestor. and since you said what you said (回放下，前一集Sally脫口而出， I'm mad of Patrick.......) I've had a lot time to think, but obviously that is not always possible, nontheless i have been able to consider your.....application, and....and this is the point, this is the important point.

Sally, you need someone good enough for you,(Sally開始忍著眼淚猛點(diǎn)頭，她覺得已經(jīng)被拒絕了，然后我也開始含著眼淚打滾 ><)
you don't want some mutton-head city boy, who spends all his time thinking about their cars and his golf clubs. you want someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved, the way I want you to be loved. Sally, you need someone who will love you forever...properly.

You are my friend, Sally, and I want to see you with the best, you need mr.amazing, mr.incredibly, superbly...fantastickness. and in your heart, I'm sure you know I'm right.

Sally: I don't want mr. superbly, incredibly fantastickness, you stupit, stupid ass!!! I WANT YOU!!!

(笑點(diǎn)開始來了）
Patrick：oh, for god's sake, Sally.....

Sally: What? What?!

Patrick：I WAS TALKING ABOUT ME! (氣氛瞬間破壞）


接下去就是Steve和Jeff滾出來跳那個(gè)什么spider man的詭異舞蹈 笑慘了我


片尾曲：
if you can't make you mind up, we'll never get started,
and I don't want to wind up, being aparted, brokenhearted..
so if you really love me, say yes, and please don't tell me,
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.


主題曲也是我的淚點(diǎn)。